Fall Fun

 I am so far behind!  Here are pictures from halloween.  This "holiday" was a little different for us this year.  David started having anxiety about the scary costumes and horrific displays about a week before halloween.  We normally go to our friends house for their party the week before - we had to skip it this year because their neighborhood was too scary.  They have one neighbor that is ridiculous - he actually has a fake baby locked in a dog cage eating brains as a display in his front yard.  That is just one of the things he does.  Our friends can't stand it.  So we skipped their party and just went to the grandparents this year.  The boys came home and said it was the best halloween ever!

It has been absolutely beautiful here, so we've been working in the yard a lot.  The boys have had a great time helping Daddy get grass to grow.....and clowning around as well!  I love fall.  The trees are so beautiful now, and the air is so cool.  I can't believe Thanksgiving is just weeks away!

Remembering Dad

Today is All Saints Day - otherwise known as Halloween.  I will have plenty of pictures to post of the kids later on this evening, but right now I am thinking of my dad.  Halloween originally began as All Saints Day - a way for the church to remember those that have passed away the year before.  It's been many years since my dad went to heaven, but today I am thinking of him, and wondering what might have been.


In a perfect world that I could create, my dad would be at Target right now with my mom, loading up on candy for his 6 grandkids who would be stopping by later today all dressed up in their costumes.  In perfect health, he would no doubt be sampling all the candy first, just to make sure it was ok for his precious grandchildren.  He would be looking forward to this day for weeks.

But my dad is not here, and I have struggled, and continue to struggle with the reasons why.  I miss him a lot and wonder what he would think of his family that has continued on without his guidance.

No doubt he would be proud of his wife.  How my mother has continued on without him amazes me.  She has a strength I don't have.  She made a career for herself after my dad died; purchased a wonderful home; stayed active in her community despite insurmountable obstacles in front of her; and found strength in her friends.  In spite of working tremendous hours and sometimes being treated unfairly by her own family, she continues to have hope that her own children - and her relationship with them - can be different than what she had.  Her children don't always see how hard she tries, but no doubt my father does - and he must be proud.

My father would be amazed at my brother.  To see him teaching and raising a family of his own would bring my dad such joy.  It is when I think of my brother that I miss my dad the most.  I see the impact my dad had on my brother, and if he were still here what that would do for him.  He would be at every ball game and school function he could.  He'd be there for advice and comfort and an understanding you can only get from your father.  I know he is proud of him. 

It's easy for me to sit and wonder how perfect everything would be if he were still here.  We'd all get together for every holiday.  We'd see each other all the time and enjoy each others company.  That is only in my dreams.  My dad was in a lot of pain when he died.  That is the reality of it.  It's also the reality that God took him home, and I can't argue with God anymore.   The influence of my father never dies.  He isn't here anymore to influence my children and my brother's children - but I am.  Rick is.  Matt is.  My mother is.  The only way that my children are going to be influenced today by my father is through my family.  I want to spend time with my brother and his family because I love them.  If they get a glimpse of who their grandpa was while I am with them, then that is a bonus.  I want my brother to be a part of my childrens lives for the same reasons.

Today I am missing my dad.  I am remembering a time when my brother and I were little and we went out trick-or-treating freezing our tails off in rural PA.  I am missing coming home to him as a little girl with my pumpkin full of candy and my father telling my brother and I to dump it all out on the floor so he could see it.  Being naive enough to think that he just wanted to see how much we got - until realizing the next morning that most of the good stuff was gone.  Eaten by a loving father who had a weakness for chocolate, and no doubt had to test it to make sure it was ok for his precious children.  I miss you Dad.

A relaxing couple of days

The boys had the past couple of days off of school due to quarter end.  It has been a rough quarter for David beginning 5th grade, so it was a welcome break from school.  The boys had their fall parties Friday and I helped with David's party.  All of 5th grade got to do fun games outside - like eat the doughnut off a stick blindfolded and run with the apple tucked in your neck.  Lots of fun games and great food!  Then football games Saturday and church on Sunday,  but Monday and Tuesday we had nothing planned - and it was great!  We did have a parent/teacher conference on Monday with Jason's teachers - which went really well.  His teachers are so wonderful and we are so thankful for them.  They said Jason is a leader in the class.  They gave a funny example of something that happened the other day to prove it.  Mrs. Haan told the children once they finished their work to file it in their cubbies and then have a seat on the floor.  All the children at Jason's table went back and sat at their table.  Upon seeing this, she said Jason went over to his table, tapped on it and said "hey guys, we are supposed to be sitting on the floor" and they followed him over!  We had a good laugh at that one.  Very proud of both our boys and how well they did this quarter.

Today we had pajama day and the boys built their Halloween house that Grandma bought them.  She brought over lunch and hung out for a bit.  It was a fun time!

May the Force be with you!

Star Wars the Clone Wars started up again a few weeks ago on Cartoon Network.  It was a big night in our house so we made a theme night!  Our boys love anything Star Wars.  Jason dressed as Boba Fett (from Star Wars), they got out their action figures, and we even made Jedi soda (complete with eyeballs!).  Then a few weeks later it was Daddy's birthday - which also happened to fall on Friday, when Star Wars airs.  So, of course, we had to do a Star Wars birthday for him!  I found a recipe for a "Death Star" cake and tried my best.  It turned out pretty good and Rick was impressed I actually did it!

Time Flies!

We sat behind a sweet couple in church Sunday that we have know for a long time.  The husband taught David in Sunday School when he was a toddler - or should I say - held him in Sunday School while he cried!  He always talks to David and asks how he is doing.  This Sunday he asked David what grade he was in - and the look on his face was priceless when David said "5th grade".  He couldn't believe it, and then he looked at me for affirmation, like somehow it was impossible that the little boy who cried on his lap for 2 straight years is now in his last year of Elementary School.  I have had no less than 3 people say to me in the last few days "David is in 5th grade?  No way!"  It's hard for me to believe that he is in 5th grade myself.  Time really has flown by.

There is something about having one child beginning Elementary School and one child ending this year that has made me appreciate this milestone in our family.  I know that Middle School changes everything, so I am appreciating each moment of growth we have with David this year.  It also has been a time of reflection for me.  Have we taught him to be responsible?  Has he learned the skills needed to succeed in school without me checking on him?  I have always been proud of David.  He picks good friends, is thoughtful and kind, and still likes to hang out with us - his parents.  For that, I am truly grateful.  I know before long I'll be sending him off to college, but for now I'm thankful the thing he looks forward to most is watching Star Wars on Friday night with his family.  And to be honest, it's the one thing I look forward to most as well.

Opening Day of Flag Football!

Today was opening day for David's flag football fall season!  We had to play a double-header beginning at 9 a.m.  The weather was beautiful - cloudy and breezy - and awesome break from the oppressive heat we have been enduring.  David and his best friend from Kindergarten, Keegan, always do a fall sport together.  The are the best of friends and the best of teammates - they always have each other's back.  David quarterbacked most of both games and we won both!  He made some awesome throws and even intercepted a pass and ran the entire length of the field for a touchdown!  He scored another touchdown and Keegan ran - and that kid can run - for several touchdowns for our team and intercepted a pass for a length-of-the-field touchdown himself!  It was an awesome beginning to another great season!  Afterward the kids got to jump in the bouncy houses and grab some snacks.  Both grandparents were there as well.  It was a really special day!

Grace and accountability

We have had a contractor at our house the last few days working on our chimney.  In the process of what he is fixing, he has managed to leave tools and debris all over our yard, damage our gutters and ruin a piece of brand new patio furniture on our deck.  My husband extends a lot of grace to people, but this one has irked him.  In addition to what we are paying our contractor, we are now going to have to buy a new chair and pay to fix our gutters.  After much thought and debate with me, he decided to deduct the cost of the chair from what we are paying him. It's not that I didn't agree that something needed to be done, but I was unsure what to do.  Where exactly is the line between forgiveness of a mistake and holding someone accountable?

I posed this question to David yesterday.  "What would you do if you were Daddy" I asked him. What surprised me were the questions he asked before he answered - how much are we paying the contractor, how much did the chairs cost, is Dad going to have to replace the gutters, how bad is the damage?  All these were thoughtful questions and I was proud of him.  But then I related it to what he is going through in 5th grade.  They work off the check system - you forget a book in your locker, you get a check mark.  You forget a paper at home, you get a check mark, etc.  All these checks are then reported to the parents at the end of the week.  "What if you forgot your Science book in your locker and the teacher decided to extend some grace and not give you a check?"  "Yeah right" was his answer.  "I wish" he said.  "But what if they did that and you continued to forget your Science book, day after day, disrupting the class and delaying the lesson?  Do you think you would ever learn to remember your book if you didn't pay a price" I asked.  "Probably not" he responded.

God did the same thing for us.  Jesus paid the ultimate price for our mistakes, but we have a responsibility to accept what he did, or not.

Back to the contractor situation.  My husband never ceases to amaze me in his optimism for people and their ability to change.  He truly wanted our contractor to learn from this mistake.  He told me that if the contractor is doing this here at our house, most likely he is doing this at every job and he is going to lose money.  He wanted him to get better, so he had a heart to heart with him after the job was done. He told him he was deducting the amount of the chair from the total, but gave him some constructive criticism to help him get better.  I was very proud of my husband, and the contractor was apologetic and took it very well.  Rick wants to give him more work, but wants him to get better so he can hire him again.

Grace, it's such a beautiful thing when used in a loving way.  So is accountability.  We can learn so much by practicing both.