Living in peace

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18 We have been living on the bottom floor of an apartment building for 18 months as we continue to look for a house. We have had 3 families live above us during this time and overall, they have been courteous and respectful. The last family to move in, however, has not been. Their dogs bark at all hours of the day and night (including at us when we are coming home); their owners allow them to roam on the deck, which leaves a ton of dog hair on my patio furniture that I have to clean up. They also run around upstairs like they are wearing lead boots. This family has tested our patience - which is already hanging by a thread to begin with. If there is one pet peeve I have, it's being inconsiderate of others. One afternoon, after I had spent 2 hours cleaning dog hair off my patio furniture, I came home to find goldfish crackers and more dog hair all over my patio. I wish I can say I acted like Jesus when I saw this - full of love and grace. I did act like Jesus, but more like the picture I have of him when he was throwing tables out of the temple. It was not a pretty sight. My husband decided to take the lead with this one (I think he just didn't want me to go all psycho on them). He called the property and asked to have the manager call him. He stated "please do not do anything regarding this situation until I talk to the manager. I don't want to be at war with these people". We really just wanted to see if they would put a mat on their patio to keep the dog hair on their porch. The next day it sounded like a 50 lb. weight was being dropped on my ceiling - over and over and over again. Then I heard loud stomping and slamming things. My kitchen light fixture looked like it was about to come out of the ceiling. I knocked on the door to the upstairs apartment to see what the problem was. She finally came downstairs and was obviously upset. I asked her if everything was alright, she said she was exercising and slammed the door in my face. We found out later that the property went against my husband's wishes and sent them a letter. She has never been overly friendly, but now she was in retaliation mode, and I was at my wits end. Home wasn't home anymore, it felt like a combat zone. My husband talked to the property manager a couple days later and voiced his displeasure, but not much changed. I truly did not handle this very well either, I'll admit. My anger got the best of me at times and there are a few marks on the ceiling where a stray basketball went flying up. But in the midst of God working on my anger, he also was teaching me what it truly means to live at peace. I love that Romans 12:18 begins with "if it is possible". God knows it is not always possible to live at peace, and there are times action must be taken. We certainly have a right to live in the comfort of our home, but we didn't mean for this nasty letter to go out. I wrestled with the Lord, and myself with this one. Do I say something, or leave it be? My heart has been restless. I have been praying for the Lord to help me resolve this. I have been asking him to place her in my path so I can talk to her, if that is his will. If that wasn't his will, and I was to leave this situation alone, then I prayed for that too. To be honest, my more heartfelt prayers were that I would not have to confront her, and that I was justified in being angry and she would go on her merry way. God had other plans though. Today I came home and felt the urge to write her a note and stick it on her door. I didn't get the letter done before I left to go pick up David, but when I walked out the husband was standing near his car. With all the courage I could muster and shaking like a leaf, I walked up to him. I asked him to apologize to his wife for me. I told him I knew she was angry with me presumably about the letter, and I told him what our intentions were when we called the property. He was nice enough, but began to make excuses for their dogs and blamed another resident for the dog hair. I blew it off and just reiterated my sincere apology that the letter was sent and that she got so upset. I truly did not mean to upset her. He said he would relay the message and wished me well. What I did today most likely will not change my situation. Based on the husband's reaction, they don't take responsibility for their animals or for the noise coming from upstairs. They most likely will remain inconsiderate to me and my family. If so, I will seek wisdom how to move forward. The lesson for me was, for once, not in the end result. The lesson was the process. I wish I could have been more loving and graceful in the way I handled it. I wish my anger had not gotten the best of me some days. I get so focused on the lack of consideration in some people, I tend to forget they may be dealing with some difficult things and I need to be mindful of that. I am also thankful the Lord used this very stressful time to draw me nearer to him and seek him out. I am so thankful to the Lord also, for allowing that man to be at his car, and for giving me the courage to speak to him. God loves me enough to have sent the husband, not the angry wife, to deal with. For that I am grateful. As much as it depended on me, for today, I attempted to live at peace. I pray I learn from this and extend grace when needed.....and have patience enough not to throw any more balls at the ceiling, no matter how loud it gets!

Designated Areas

My husband and I took our son to the dentist office this past Friday. He was getting 3 teeth pulled and we all were pretty anxious about it. The waiting area was very kid friendly - full of electronic games, children's programs on the t.v. and books. There even was a computer for the adults to utilize with access to the Internet. As we were waiting, I noticed a mom sitting in front of a child's game screen nervously tapping her foot. After a few seconds, she got out her cell phone. For the next 10 minutes, I had the distinct displeasure of hearing every detail of what happened to her son as she explained it to her friend under the premise "please pray for him". I can tell you what school he went to, where he tripped and fell, what shoes he was wearing when he fell, how many times she told him to change his shoes, how many teeth were knocked loose, the school staff who helped him and what Christmas presents she bought them last year ("they take care of the kids who's moms are involved" so I understand). I can also tell you how much blood was involved, how much ice, what they would have to do if the teeth needed to be pulled ("knock him out for sure") and how awesome the school was during this "crisis". She hung up just as my husband was making the motion to hang himself. Truly, the nurse saved us both from further torture to tell the mom he was going to be fine.

After David got taken back, we decided the "not-as-kid-friendly" waiting room down the hall was more our style, so we headed back to wait.....and pray. No sooner were we in that waiting room does the woman next to me pick up the phone to make a call. Do you know hard it is to read an article on stress free parenting in Parents Magazine while the person next to you is talking about her niece who has been burping and farting every two minutes for the past 3 days? Hard, let me tell ya. I know more about these women....whom I DO NOT know....than I do some of my closest friends. The problem with that is - I don't want to.

I feel violated. I was subjected to these moronic conversations against my own will, unable to leave because my sweet little boy was getting 3 teeth pulled and for crying out loud, if something happened, I wanted to be there! I was trapped.

Much like those of us who don't smoke have historically been subjected to others that do, we now face a new enemy: The ignorant cell phone user. Honestly, if either of these women would have lit up a cigarette, I would have politely asked them to take it outside. Why in the world would they think other people in the room want to hear their conversation? I wish I would have had the nerve to tap them on the shoulder and say "pardon me, I really don't want to hear your conversation, would you mind talking elsewhere? I don't want to be subjected to second hand conversation - it's endangering my health" (and obviously the health of my husband who decided he'd rather watch his firstborn get 3 teeth yanked out than listen to this conversation any further - and he hates blood - especially when it's coming out of his 9 year old).

There are designated areas for smoking - there should be for cell phone users. Quite frankly, and forgive me for being un-christian, but if people want to kill themselves with smoking....or hideous cell phone conversations, so be it. But those of us making different choices for ourselves should be spared. I feel a "freedom from speech" movement coming on!

Back to the grind

Oh my goodness it's been a long time since my last post. I love summer and all the irresponsibility that comes with it! :) God certainly knows how we operate - by the end of school I am soooo ready to not be scheduled, but by the end of summer I am ready to have some order restored. And restored it has been. David started school last Thursday and he is loving it. This is his 5th year at Carmel Christian and he is so incredibly happy there - and we couldn't be more pleased. I noticed a big difference in my boy this year. He is taking on much more responsibility with his school work, and he has matured so much over the last year. Hardly any apprehension before school and he has been happy as a clam each morning (he is NOT a morning person, much like his Mommy, so this is a big deal). He is just so excited about school. I know it may not always be this way - so I am truly thankful for the way this year has started. I am especially thankful for Carmel Christian School and the staff there. What a wonderful place it is.

Jason starts WEE School in a couple of weeks. He is missing his big brother, but we are finding things to do together. This will be a big deal for him as he starts TK - 5 days a week at school. What am I going to do?!? ;) He is excited and at orientation he went to his class with no hesitation at all, so that was good. I went and listened to our wonderful preschool director go over the handbook for the very last time. I could recite this handbook by memory, as my children have been a part of WEE School for 7 years now. I can hardly imagine what it's going to be like to NOT be a part of this wonderful program. It was bittersweet to sit in that room full of first time WEE School parents. I remember what it was like to leave my child in his classroom crying his eyes out and wondering if I did the right thing. Now, 7 years later, he is a confident 4th grader and my youngest is now in his last year of preschool there. How far we have come! If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have worried nearly as much. Our children are God's children, first and foremost, and he loves them and cares for them always.

The summer has been wonderful and lazy, for the most part. I am so thankful to spend quality time with my children and husband during the summer. It is good, though, to be back at school and feeling like I am accomplishing something more than deepening my tan and washing bathing suits and towels every day....although, I do love it!

This summer has also brought me closer to the Lord. It's been challenging more than I ever thought, and obstacles have been overcome and struggles still ahead....but, more about that in another post. I'm glad to be able to look back on this summer and see God's hand over our lives. God is good!

A Firey Fourth

We had a great time at Knights Stadium watching a great game and awesome fireworks (pictures below), but on our way home around midnight we came upon this - a fire. We were heading down Rea Road and saw a brush fire taking up the backside of someone's yard and no one was around - the houses were all dark. We turned off and drove through the neighborhood until we found the smoke, and then the fire. Rick rang the doorbell of the 2 houses in front of the fire, while I dialed 911.

Thankfully Rick found a garden hose and started putting it out before it reached a large tree. The Fire Dept. and Police came and were able to put a stop to the rest of it, but my hero husband had gotten most of it out with that little garden hose before they got there. The neighbors were so appreciative. It was kind of scary to think a fire was burning in their back yard and they didn't even know! Glad we saw it.

Before the fire excitement, we had lots of fun at the game. Rick's dad bought the family tickets and we got to watch the game and awesome fireworks! Here is the whole family with Rick's Aunt Elaine in town from NY. (Doesn't she and my MIL look alike!) The Knights won 11 to 2 and needless to say, we were all exhausted - especially two little boys I know and love!

No longer InStyle

I have a confession to make - I am a trash magazine junkie. I love them: People, US Weekly, In Touch. I even get Country Weekly I am such a geek! One of my favorite things to do before vacation is stock up on the latest trash magazines to read while I'm gone. Another magazine I like, not really trashy, but I like it is InStyle. I usually pick this up at the grocery store, but when I was in Ulta a few months ago they were doing a promotion for it. I signed up for a subscription and enjoyed getting this magazine delivered to my house. I particularly enjoyed all the great tips on putting outfits together for less and what the best make up deals were out there. Then one day, as I was flipping through the latest issue, I saw this: Where her hand is going I'd rather not think about. Then a few pages later was these:

I am rising two young men, and am praying my husband doesn't come to see me as just the person who picks up his laundry and keeps the Pepsi stocked in the fridge. With that in mind, I wondered what my 9 year old would think if he looked over my shoulder while I was reading this magazine and saw this:

I don't know if you can tell, but that's an actress completely naked. You can see her whole back side and part of her breast. What finally did it for me was a page where celebrities were asked what their favorite website was and designer Tom Ford listed a free porn site. Not joking - it's in the June '09 edition.

I'm sorry, but this IS a magazine aimed at women, right? I mean, am I missing something here? What makes the editors of InStyle believe ads like these are going to appeal to me - a heterosexual female? Put an ad of a cheesecake and pasta in there and I'll buy ten copies and hand them out to my friends. This stuff not only does NOT appeal to me, it repulses me. The articles in this magazine are helpful and informative, but the cost of my sons seeing these pictures are no longer worth it to me. They would never get these images out of their minds and I would never be able to forgive myself. So until InStyle can figure out how to print a magazine for women that doesn't offend women, I will no longer buy it.

If Eve were tempted by an apple, Adam surely would have been tempted by a woman

Infidelity. It's all over the news lately. From Jon Gosselin to Mark Sanford to John Edwards. It's heartbreaking. So many lives ruined; families destroyed. These men seemed, on the surface, to be good guys. Loved their wives; adored their children; and honored God. What happened, and is any man safe from the sin of infidelity? My husband and I often joke that if he thought about food as much as I did, and I thought about sex as much as he did, we'd both be happy. Men and women's needs are so vastly different, you wonder why God created us they way He did and expected us to live together as one. But he did create us differently and he has his reasons and they are wonderful at that, but what about these different needs? The emails Gov. Sanford sent to his mistress were beautiful and moving.....had they only been sent to his wife. Reading them in the context by which they were sent is sickening. He mentions in them that he "did not need love when they first met 15 years ago, but the battle scars of life and aging and politics have worn on and this has become a real need of mine." Men and women's needs are different, and they change over time. Sometimes we don't even know there is a void until someone, or something, starts to fill it. Then we are awakened to what was missing and wondering why our spouse hasn't been filling it. We turn to other people, or things, to fill it. Go all the way back to Genesis. The serpent was more crafty than all the animals God had made and temped Eve. When Eve saw the apple was "good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom" (Gen. 3:6) she ate it. How often we are temped by what feels good to us, is pleasing to us and is desirable. What a deceitful trap the evil one spins for us! He knows what works, even from the beginning, and we keep falling for it. The Lord tells us to "be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). My word, how many of us have been devoured of late? None of us are immune from the devils plans. Whether it is infidelity, financial struggles, pornography, or emotional needs we are getting met outside of marriage, it is all a sin and we must work hard and pray harder for protection around our husbands, our children and even ourselves. William F. Harley, Jr. has a wonderful website called Marriagebuilders. It is a great resource on the subject of marriage, and infidelity in particular. There also is a wonderful needs survey that I encourage you to take with your spouse. We may think we know what our husband's greatest needs are, but when was the last time we asked them? I used to believe there was some great character flaw in people who cheat. I don't anymore. We tell ourselves that was something "off" about them to make ourselves feel more secure; that it couldn't happen to us. It can. These people are no different from you and me. These wonderful families were not destroyed in a day. The foundation of their marriage was slowly stripped away, brick by brick, by choices that were made. A choice to take the kids to ball practice, again, instead of going out to dinner as a couple. A choice to flirt with a co-worker - it's just innocent fun. A choice to confide in a friend of the opposite sex instead of our spouse or a counselor. A choice to not deal with the needs of our spouse because I have needs too and they aren't getting met. A choice to put my kids, or my job, or my finances ahead of God. A choice to believe my husband will always feel the same about me no matter how I treat him or ignore his needs. A choice to do what feels good instead of what is right. Choices. What choice will I make today? What choice will my husband make today? What choice will you make today? "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6).

A painful choice

Our old church is celebrating it's 200th anniversary this year. As part of the celebration, Saturday night the choir had a concert featuring a lot of the church's favorite hymns. Past choir members and their families were invited to come. As my father was the director of the choir for many years, our family was invited. This church holds many memories for me, both good and bad. Rick and I were married in this church. It also is the place we held my father's funeral. I have only been back a few times since the death of my father. Rick and I agreed it would be difficult to go back, but that it was the right thing to do. Saturday night came and as we were getting ready, I decided to pull off the directions to the church from their website. As I was perusing the website, there was listed a bulletin for the evening's songs. I pulled it up and there it was, in black and white, all my dad's favorites. I pictured myself sitting up front with my husband, my mother and my sons listening to these songs sung by my dad's choir and directed by someone else. I pictured trying to be able to hold my emotions together for the 90 minutes this would go on. I thought of sitting there with my boys, trying to explain where their grandfather used to sit; where he would stand; how he would look doing what he loved. I tried to push out of my mind that my father would never throw a ball to his grandsons; never hug them; never tell them he loved them. I thought about my boys and how much they would have adored their grandfather. I walked into our bedroom, handed the list of songs to my husband and started to cry. When I finally pulled it together, I looked up and asked him "what am I supposed to do tonight?" He couldn't answer for me and told me as much. It was my decision, he had said, and he would support me whatever I decided. When a door is closed on a chapter in your life, sometimes you are presented with the unique opportunity to face this door again. Sometimes the door is held open for your return, when you are ready, and all you have to do is walk in. Sometimes you have to search long and hard to find the key to unlock it. Sometimes the door is just there, and all you have to do is turn the knob. I sat there on the bed Saturday night, facing what would be on the other side of that door: seeing old friends who meant so much to my family; memories of our wedding day; honoring the legacy of my father whom I loved so much; and reliving, again, this painful loss. I had every intention of going, and for this post to be filled with pictures of great memories of that night. In the end, I chose not to go. My brother called me that night. He didn't even ponder going - he was not about to return to something so painful. When he found out I changed my mind and wasn't going, the first thing he said to me is "don't feel guilty". He knew. After all these years, he still knew the overwhelming emotion I would have was guilt. I am 40 years old now and still, so many of my choices are made based on other's feelings; what other people deem right. If one person is hurt or upset by what I have done; if only one believes I made the wrong choice, then I feel it is the wrong choice as well. This has been a tough week for me to deal with that personality trait of mine. I still feel it would have been the right thing for me to go and that I missed a blessing. However, this decision was not about what was right or wrong. It came down to strength. I didn't have the strength to revisit these memories. I didn't have the strength to sit and listen to my father's favorite hymns as pictures of him flashed on the screen. I have come to terms with his death and the Lord has healed the hurt of his passing. Going back there for this particular night would have been the equivalent of his funeral all over again. I just couldn't do it. Maybe one day I will be able to. In the meantime, the Lord is teaching me to give a little grace to myself for making a tough choice, all the while learning to extend the same to others. Some decisions are not as simple as we make them; and none of them are black and white.

The truth

Ok, so for the 2 of you who read this regularly, you know the last post was tongue-in-cheek. I am the queen of sarcasm, if nothing else. I have blown the circumstances of what is going on at our church out of proportion to prove how silly we all can be. I will have to say, the vast majority of our church seems to be open to change and are doing whatever they can to stay positive and look ahead instead of looking at what once was. I’m proud of our pastor and our new worship leader. They are often in a no win situation and continue to rise above the petty fray. Yet, the fact that some of this stuff goes on has irritated me and got me thinking. Change is constant, so why do we resist it so much? The one thing that saddens me most is what we might be missing when we refuse to change. My husband has changed over the 22 years I have known him, and while there may be times he and I both wonder what happened to the people we married, we stick it out, work through it, and admire the people we have become instead of comparing who we are to who we were. Thank God my husband does that for me! My children change on a daily basis. Never once do I consider kicking them to the curb or putting them up for adoption (ok, maybe in a brief moment of weakness, but I get over it!). Change is going to happen in your life: your marriage; your job; yes, even your church. The way I see it, I have two choices when facing change. I can grasp on to what I know; what I refuse to change; what is comfortable and familiar. I can grip this with all my might and dig my nails into it and say “this is the right way and I’m not changing”…..and then shudder as I am dragged across the chalkboard of the inevitable changes in my life. Or I can stand, feet firmly planted, on the rock of my foundation. I can stand on the truths that I know and not be tossed by the wind and the waves. I’ve talked about it before, but I hate change. I don’t adapt well. The funny thing is though, the times I have felt closest to the Lord are the times he has plucked me from my nice warm bed of familiarity and thrown me into the icy waters of the unknown. It is then that I need him. It is then that I search him. It is then that I find him. It is then, and only then, that I am able to open my heart and my mind to what his plan is – not mine. It is only by being bounced around in the icy waters that I realize how small I am, and how big he is. That his plans are better than mine. The change in our worship routine has made me examine my own motives for Sunday morning. I’ll be honest, my motives are selfish at times. If our Senior pastor isn’t there, I’m apt to sleep in. I want to be moved; I want to hear from the Lord. But is that what worship is about? Honestly, no. Worship is not about me; it’s about Him. I know we worship in different ways, and I respect that. But when you come to church to be entertained, you’ve missed the point. Everyone has different reasons for attending church. They range from being able to teach children about Jesus to catching up with their friends. None of those things are necessarily wrong. Many of your needs can and should be met by your church. But your reasons for attending Sunday worship should have very little, if at all, to do with you. Worship is about God. Worship is designed to praise the God who made you, to worship the One who gave his life to save you. You should enter into worship with a thankful heart that the God of the universe knows your name and loves you beyond reasoning. When you walk into church with that in mind, does it really matter what the choir is wearing? We are no different than the Israelites marching through the desert. God released them from slavery in Egypt so they could worship him. Did you get that? So they could worship him. They were freed from slavery; had their freedom, yet, what did they do? Complained. Not only did they complain, they compared their current situation with their past. Catching any similarities here? They were free, and yet they whined that they wanted to go back to Egypt so they could eat well. If only they could have trusted God’s plan. If only they could have trusted their leaders. If only they could have stopped complaining for one minute and offered a praise of thanksgiving and a prayer for their leaders and their people. Maybe that’s what we all should do.

No choir robes for the 2nd week in a row! I’m done!

Our church is going through some changes, and I can honestly say, I don’t like them. First off, I have always enjoyed our “traditional” service at 11 a.m., but how can you honestly have a “traditional” service without the “traditional” choir robes? My father was a music minister and I will tell you right now, it is not biblical for people to be standing up in the choir loft praising our Lord in their jeans! For crying out loud! Where is the respect? Where is the reverence? You can’t have a proper service without robes. I can’t even look at all those people in the choir with all their mis-matched clothes; it’s very distracting. And don’t even get me started about the electric guitar. My word. What ever happened to our organ? The older people in our service don’t like it one bit. They shake their grey heads every time the music tarts. I am only 1 of about 6 people in that service under the age of 75 and it’s great. No young families with kids running around making noise other than my own. What am I going to do when all the old people go to a new church? I’m going to be stuck with people my own age – yuck. The new music minister is supposed to be voted in next week. Poor sap. He’d better wear a bullet proof vest and hire a body guard to watch out for him. Those old people may be slow, but they carry weapons. Next to change recently were the bulletins. My husband scoffs every time he sits down in the pew, looks at his bulletin, opens it up and then has to turn it sideways to read it. I personally don’t mind the new bulletins. The way they are folded makes an accordion like toy that our boys love to mimic during service, and I find it handy while making out my grocery list during the sermon (ho-hum). Speaking of the sermon, our pastor last week had the nerve to ask for a huge amount from what’s left of our congregation to update our sound system. Ah, hello, can you say RE-CES-SION!! With half our church leaving to “try out” the new church in Waxhaw, he’s lucky to get any money at all each week. Besides, between the older set with their hearing aides turned down and the Chinese ministry with translaters constantly talking over one another, no one can understand him anyway. It would be a total waste of money in my opinion. And speaking of the new church, who the heck came up with a dumb name like “Five Stones”? Can you imagine telling a stranger that’s where you attend? “Oh, you should check out Five Stones” Wha? The fact that it’s in Waxhaw is a joke. What? Those rich people in Waxhaw can’t drive their BMW’s to Matthews? Too far? Trust me, those people can’t be saved. Might as well save our resources to further educate us Christians who are already attending every Sunday. We have needs too. I guess all this means is that I am unhappy with the way things are going in our church. I’m not the only one. There are petitions to bring back the organ, kick out the pastor, get rid of the hymns and have a “wear your shorts to church on Sunday" once a month. The old folks are ticked off about the music because it's not what they are used to. The younger folks are heading to the loud, highlighted hair, swearing from the pulpit minister down the street because he uses flashy lights and cool music and makes them feel good about themselves. The in-betweens are heading to the new church because they need a change and don't realize how much work they are going to be asked to do. Where does that leave me? I think it’s time for me to try the church down the street. I hear they give biscuits to new visitors. I like biscuits and my church has never given me biscuits. It might be worth a shot. *for those of you reading this for the first time, please be sure and check out Part 2 entitled "The Truth" posted above.

Keeping your children safe on the computer

A while back we had a bird make a nest in our front yard. I couldn't tell what it was so I went searching the Internet. Innocently, I typed in "black and white striped bird". The first several pictures were exactly what I was searching for.....then there were a few that were NOT what I was searching for. Unfortunately, my 9 year old and his buddy were standing behind me when these images appeared. Not exactly porn came up, but certainly nothing I wanted my 9 year old to see. This really got me thinking. My children are on this computer a few times a week researching projects and playing games. All sites have already been looked at by me, but I started to wonder, what if they accidentally typed in the wrong word or letter? What could pop up? About a month ago, I was on Lysa Terkeurst's site and she was interviewing Clay Crosse. He is a Christian singer who has struggled in the past with pornography. I remember all the great advice he gave about his struggles, and since I am raising boys I didn't want to bury my head in the sand about this issue. I went to his site and found a great tool to block unwanted images and sites from our computer. He recommended BSafe and Covenant Eyes Internet filters. I bought BSafe and I must say, it's been great. I have to type in a password even to get to my People magazine page. It was done a great job at filtering unwanted ads (that even on Fox.com can be questionable for little eyes) without filtering the actual content of the site. If the site, however, is questionable, it blocks it and you have to put in a password. We also can put in a list of approved sites that will come up without a password. Of course, sites that are not questionable, like Charlotte.com and Playhousedisney come up without a problem. We always monitor the boys when they are on the Internet, but it makes me feel better knowing I have one more layer of protection for my family. I mean, if I can type in something innocently and something bad comes up, my boys are apt to do it as well.

Back by popular demand...Chore Charts!

They are not back by popularity as far as my children are concerned....but by me! Our summers are a lot easier with these charts - no nagging. It either gets done or there is a consequence. Takes a lot of pressure off of me. Here is where you can create one for your child: ChoreCharts. We have added a few things to each boys list. In addition to the normal stuff like making his bed and taking out the trash, David has to refill the fridge with drinks every night (not my wine of course!) :) and he's going to start doing his laundry once a week (we'll see how that goes). Jason now has to clean the bathroom every night and mop the floors once a week, in addition to the basics like brushing his teeth, picking up his toys, etc. These worked great last year and I am looking forward to putting them to use this week. The boys love checking things off their list and getting their reward for all their hard work at the end of the week. And I love that I am not nagging them to do things they should be thinking about doing every day.

My baby turns 9 today

Gosh, where did those years go? It's hard to believe that 9 years ago today I became a mom for the first time. What an awesome feeling holding my little boy after trying for so long to get pregnant. Truly there was a time I thought I would never become a mom. And now, I have a 9 year old and a almost 5 year old.

What a blessing David has been. He truly is the sweetest boy I know, and he makes me and his Dad proud every day. He loves to read and play his Nintendo, as well as hang out with his friends and play baseball. All he asked for his birthday was Lego's and that's what he got! He is truly the best son we could ask for, and the best brother Jason could have. What a great example to look up to.

He wanted to have his buddies after school to play ball at Davie Park for his birthday (sweet....and cheap!). They all had a great time eating pizza, playing kickball and whiffle ball and just hanging out. I am so proud of the boys David hangs out with. What a great group they are and their parents are awesome too!

Today, his actual birthday, was the last day of school (praise God!). What a great way to spend a birthday! He wanted to have lunch at Chuck E. Cheese and then come home and put his 1000 piece Lego set together. So that's what we are doing. We love you buddy! Happy 9th birthday! We couldn't be more proud to have you as a son!

Last day of WEE School

Today was Jason's last day of WEE school for the year. It was so sweet to see his teachers get emotional as they were handing out awards (yes, there were awards in preschool!) and saying goodbye to the children. This has been a wonderful year for Jase. He has had a few difficult times throughout the year, but I am so thankful he had teachers I felt comfortable talking things over with. They love him, and all the students, and I will forever be grateful for all they have done. God bless them for what they do! How fast that year went by! Off to TK!

40 is just a number...unless of course it's YOUR number!

I turn 40 today. I know, try to contain your shock. You thought I was only 29....(I can fantasize if I want to; it's MY birthday!) The number doesn't seem to bother me all that much; after all, it's just a number. But there is something about the passing of a decade of years you have lived that makes you look back on your life - and look ahead. I will never be in my 30's again.....ok, that moment of reflection has passed. Moving on. Looking back on my life I can honestly say I have few regrets. Sure, there are things I would have done differently. But if I went back to do some things over, and all the circumstances of that time still remained the same, I still would make the same choice. There are a few things I would like to go back and tell the girl of my youth though. To that 7 year old girl out in the front yard pretending to direct a "photo shoot" with all her friends doing action shots, I would whisper to always keep that imagination and love of life. Your bossy spirit will come in handy one day when you're trying to coax a 2 year old to go potty for the first time (the imagination part will help a lot too). To the insecure 12 year old whose heart is broken over girls she thought were her friends, I would tell to be strong. God has better friends in mind for you and is getting rid of these nasty girls for something much better. Friends that you will greatly need in the months to come that you can't foresee right now. To the 15 year old young lady who is complaining about her hair and her weight and her....wait, I still do that. I still would tell her to knock it off and enjoy the body God gave her.....like I am telling myself right now. It just gets worse as time goes by! To the 17 year old high school student who fell in love, I would tell her to not worry. The man you love who is going off to college is still going to be in love with you 23 years later. He still will be treating you like a princess and you still will be feeling you don't deserve him. And you will love him more in the future than you ever thought possible in high school. To the 26 year old who can't pull herself off the floor after the devastation of losing her dad, I would say to keep crying.....and that it really will be ok. God will show you He is still with you and your family. Through the tears and the grief and the anger at God, you will come to know Him in a way you never did before. God will bring joy back into your family. He hasn't left you, even though you feel so alone today. To the 30 year old who is ready to give up hope of ever being a mom I would say hang on! These boys are coming, and they are loud, and fun, and tiring and totally awesome. If I had to do these years over again I would have stressed less and prayed a lot more. I would worried less about what other people wanted me to do, and searched more of what God wanted me to do. I would have hugged my dad a lot. An awful lot. God has been so good to me. He has blessed me with a family I love and true friends I adore beyond words. I am reminded of the words the Lord spoke to me years ago. As I was putting together a scrapbook of my father to give to my son, the Lord whispered in my ear "Sherri, look at this wonderful life I gave your father. You have been focusing on his death; I want you to focus on his life". What beautiful words to change someones life. He did that for me that day. So today I am focusing on this great life God has given me so far. My prayer for this year is that I enjoy the life God has given me. May he challenge me in ways that make me depend only on Him. May he continue to bless our family and show his face to us each and every day. And may I continually strive to glorify him in all I do and think and all I say. Thank you Lord for 40 wonderful years. You are awesome and I love you. "The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands." Psalm 138:8

Puzzle-mania!

My four year old has gotten the "puzzle bug". It's all consuming and time consuming. It all started when his grandma bought him a glow-in-the-dark puzzle from the dollar bin at Target. He put it together in no time flat and was hooked. In the last week, we have had to buy him no less than 3 more puzzles (not including the free one from Wendy's). He is starting now to take them apart and put them back together again! And of course, we can't put them away. We are running out of table space!

I'm glad he loves puzzles. It's so much better for him than Nintendo (again, an addicting game!). He's pretty proud of himself when he is done and ready to move on to the next one. I always remember our preschool director saying she can tell the kids who worked on puzzles as a child.......I hope Jason is one of them!

Food, beautiful food

I love food. I'll admit it. I love it more than my children some days. Food doesn't talk back, always makes me happy, and doesn't make a mess (if you order take out!). Of course, this also explains my weight, but that's another issue for another day. Today, we're focused on food.

We had the great privilege to eat at The Lady and Son's in Savannah and it was delicious. First, before you eat, they bring out these delicious cheese biscuits on top of a Ho cake. The Ho cake is basically cornbread in the shape of a pancake and tastes great with syrup. Yummy! I could have eaten these all day long.

We decided to order the buffet for lunch, which consisted of 2 types of chicken, pork, and a ton of veggies including her famous mac and cheese.

This is what my plate looked like when I got back to the table. What was hysterical to me was that there was a salad bar. Really?! A salad bar at Paula Deen's? Who the heck would eat that? Not me - what a waste of stomach space.

Gosh just looking at that picture makes me hungry. I love the Cracker Barrel, but now it has lessened in my mind after this lovely food!

Next was dessert. My friends surprised me and had a waiter sing Happy Birthday to me while bringing out the Ooey, Gooey Butter cake! That was fun (and embarrassing!) I also got another dessert that came with my meal in banana pudding. Gosh it was all delightful and we needed naps after it. But it was a great place to stuff yourself after a great morning of running. I love that place. I truly do!

Ok, so here it is, the highlight of the weekend for me!

As his mamma, Paula Deen would say, "Aint he purty y'all?" Oh, my word Jamie Deen is so cute! That's him with me right before the race (thank God it was before because he wouldn't have come within 10 feet of my stinkin' body after). And yes, he has his hand on my shoulder. Could I look any happier? I mean really! No wonder I was struggling the whole race - my heart started racing before the gun went off - I mean, wouldn't yours? Here's how it went down. I spotted Michael, Paula's husband, right beside the stage before the race. Now I wouldn't have known it was him, except that Paula was doing the opening ceremony and being perceptive as I am (as my friend Dawn tells me) I put two and two together. Then I saw Jamie and Bobby Deen next to him. Well, if I had been by myself there would be no picture, as I am a big enough chicken to be fried at KFC. However, because Nancy was with me (and things always get done when Nancy is around), she piped up and said "Let's ask him for a picture!" 'Nuff said! Now unfortunately for the picture of our group with Michael, it was somehow not taken as a picture, but as a movie. We asked some old lady (who shall remain nameless because I don't know her name, but if you look at the picture, right next to Jamie's hand on my shoulder - she is the culprit). She obviously had never seen a camera before and pressed the wrong button. Nevertheless, thanks to my sweet friends, I have the picture of a lifetime. He was gracious and kind to all of us, as was Paula's husband Michael. Honestly, I could have sat down right there and waited for my friends to finish the race because my day had been made!

More pictures to come tomorrow of The Lady and Sons restaurant, which thanks to my new friend August, we were fortunate enough to get into. You won't believe the pictures - they will have you drooling!

5k - I did it!

I just completed my first 5k in Savannah this weekend and am so excited that I finished! I ran the inaugural race of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Savannah Georgia along with 3,000 other people (including walkers). I finished in 35 minutes without stopping - I ran the whole thing! That was the goal....not a certain time.....just to finish without stopping; without dying. I accomplished both, which I wanted to do before age 40 (3 weeks away), and now I can cross that off the list.

I have lots to say about this amazing trip and the great women I went with: Dawn, Christy and Nancy. You just can't pray for better friends than these girls. I will post more in the coming days.....including the one thing that topped crossing the finish line for me that occurred before the race. My heart almost stopped before the horn blew when this happened....more to come!

I am so thankful I ran it; so thankful I didn't die; so inspired by the survivors of this horrible disease. I pray what took place this weekend will save many women from having to live, and survive, breast cancer. More to come tomorrow!

Friday Funnies

Since I am on my way to Savannah to run in a 5k, I thought I would post these while I am gone. Have a great weekend! Funny things heard around our house this week: David has been raising funds for his school and was calling his grandmother to ask for a dollar donation for each lap he would run. He already got $20 from someone else, which, unfortunately for him, he thought was the amount to get a scooter in prizes. In order to get the scooter he needed to raise $20 a LAP - not total. So not knowing this information, he calls his grandmother and asks for a donation. She said "will $30 be enough?". His reply "Oh no grandma, you don't need to spend that much, I already got $20 from someone else." Jason responding to me calling him today "Yes, Mother. Mother of Pearl". Wonder where he heard that? Jason praying for one of his friends who got into trouble today at school "Dear God, please help Zachary to learn to be kind. Thank you for giving us sins. Amen." Needless to say this prompted a long discussion on sin and that God does not give us sins but FORgives us of sins.

MOPS Revisited

I had a great opportunity last night to spend some times with my MOPS girls again. My how I have missed them! I was asked to share my testimony on how MOPS affected my life to the girls, along with my friends Nancy, Kristina, and Jen. It was amazing to me how the Lord moved in all our lives through MOPS. I was especially thankful that my sister-in-law came to her first MOPS meeting with me last night. The Lord had been laying on her heart to start a group for her church, and she felt last night's meeting was made by the Lord just for her. She left more excited than ever about starting a group! As I had been frantically working on my testimony the last few weeks, the Lord again used my experience with MOPS to do a work in me. As when I took over as Coordinator for MOPS and felt completely over my head and out of control (not good for a type-A person like me), I today am feeling that way - only on a lesser level. Not knowing what the future may bring, and feeling a little cramped in this apartment, along with other everyday stresses have left me feeling hopeless some days. I again turned to my normal comfort zones for happiness: food, wine, chocolate, vegging out in front of the tv, etc. It has not been good for me and my mental health on most days. But as I was writing my testimony that I would speak to these ladies, the Lord whispered in my ear "why aren't you turning to me now like you did back then?" I couldn't read the words "I know I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me" without feeling a pang in my heart that I wasn't really living it. Did I really believe what I was writing? I did back then, when I felt to desperate for his help and his love and his comfort. But what about now? Somewhere between last May when I "retired" from my position, to today, I had lost the intimate connection I had with my loving Father. The only answer I have for that loss is that I didn't need him as much. I was back to the day in, day out of everyday life and I said to myself "thanks Lord. You were really there for me in my time of need, but I can take it from here. This is boring, easy stuff. You can have a seat over there for now." I still had my quiet time, but not the on-my-knees, "please help me Lord" desperation I had back then. I suppose it's human nature to only cry out to the Lord in desperate times, but why? Why do I ever presume I can carry on with my life without his presence? The Lord has shown me once again this week that I can do nothing apart from him. If I try to do the basic things without his help, I will fail. My marriage will suffer; my family will suffer; I will suffer - and I have. He has shown me, through my own written testimony, that he wants to be the center of my life. He wants me to come to him with everything - life altering or not. I am grateful once again that he used MOPS to draw me closer to him and show me the way.

Weekend Wrap Up

What a glorious weekend to celebrate the resurrection of our Savior! We attended the Tenebrae service at our church Friday night and it was very moving. We then spent Saturday looking for shoes for me (no fun!). My poor husband and sons - what great troopers they were! We did baskets for our boys this year - after saying all month we weren't going to do it. My husband said "why don't we buy them Target gift cards and draw bunny ears on top?" Nice try honey. We really were going to do the gift cards, but then the boys kept talking about all they stuff they were going to get in their baskets and Mommy felt guilty. So I ran out Saturday to Target and bought baskets (ours are still in storage somewhere) and some candy. We did do gift cards, but at least they were in a basket full of goodies. What a sucker I am! One day I am going to hold fast to taking the easy way out! Sunday was a beautiful day to spend with family after church. The kids looked for Easter eggs at Grandmas and then we all hung out and went through old photos my mom had brought back from my grandmothers house in Oklahoma. Here are a few pictures.

Here is "Uncle Rick" helping to open the Easter eggs. Jason, the family clown, goofing off outside! What a great day for baseball - which is always a must when my family gets together. 5 boys and 2 men - sports is what they live for! Check out my nephews in their white t-shirts! My sister-in-law had taken off their dress shirts to play. My kids never wear t-shirts, but my nephews look so cute in them! Here's our newest addition - all girly! Elliana Grace is getting cuter by the minute!

House hunters be alert!

We have been hunting for a house for a while and came across a shady little plan some realtors are using to sell homes. We found a house that we loved and tried to negotiate a deal, but were duped by the sellers and their agents. Prudential used a "range" of prices the seller would "entertain". We gave them two offers in this price range and they rejected it. Not only did they reject it, but they were very unprofessional to our agent. They have yet to sell this home. Our realtor, TJ Larsen, wrote a great article on Value Range Marketing based on our experience, and Allen Norwood of the Charlotte Observer interviewed him. This article was published in Saturday's paper of The Charlotte Observer and you read it here http://www.charlotteobserver.com/222/story/654622.html

23 years ago today.....

My husband took me out on our first date 23 years ago today. Our first date a week before was foiled somehow. We were supposed to meet to go bowling and one of us got the wrong place. As I was in high school at the time and didn't have a car, my mom had to take me to the bowling alley. We somehow missed each other that night, but on April 11th, 1986, we tried it again went on our first date - bowling.

There have been many bowling trips since then and our family has changed a lot, but my love for him has only grown deeper. He is the best gift God could have ever given me. I mean, what other man would spend the Saturday before Easter shopping for shoes with his wife?

Thanks, honey, for asking me out 23 years ago, and all the things you have done for me and our family since then. I love you!

(This wasn't our first date - it was our second prom together a year later. Gotta love the hair!)

Baseball's opening day!

Yesterday was our son's opening day of baseball. I love this team and all the parents involved. The team is the Muckdogs, of all things! It was an awesome game and we won! David made all 3 outs in the first inning for his team while playing 2nd base. He even turned a double play! His friend Hunter did an awesome job pitching. This is the first time we are all playing kid-pitch instead of coach-pitch. I am amazed at the speed and accuracy 9 year olds have. I swear if I were pitching I would have taken a few heads off!

David's best friend Keegan drove in the winning runs. It was an awesome day and perfect weather. I look forward to this year with them.

Of course, Jason had his best friend Riley there to cheer them on.....when they weren't killing ants on the hill of course. Awesome day!

Why now?

I've been hearing that question a lot. I've also been asking that question a lot. Our church is going through a change that a lot of people are struggling with - expansion to a new area in uncertain times. "Why now" is the question that seems to be on everyone's mind. Why, when things are so tight and there are so many changes within our church, do we have to add this on top of it? It doesn't make sense. We also have been struggling to find a house. We found one, then lost it. Found a couple of others that we were sure we could make a decision on. We couldn't. The only reason we have for not buying either one is that we don't have a peace about either. They both are great houses; they both are within our price range; they both fit our family perfectly. Yet, we let them go. It doesn't make sense. I think about Mary, the virgin mother of Jesus. How she must have asked those same questions to God. "I've been faithful to you Lord and am engaged to be married Why now?" It doesn't make sense. I think about the disciples as they watched Jesus being crucified. Why now? He has so much to do; he's only just started. It doesn't make sense. Things don't always make sense to us. The elders of our church have been praying about this for years. Doors were closed over and over again - and then they were opened wide. I believe there is a peace among those that are starting this journey. It may not make sense to me, but it makes sense to God. I don't know why we can't get comfortable with these houses. All I know is that Rick and I both feel this way and are continuing to pray about it. God knows the future. It may not make sense to me, but it makes sense to God. Jesus being born of a virgin and suffering so horribly at such a young age. It didn't make any sense to those of the time, but it does to us now, doesn't it? I thank God for all of those "untimely" things that happened centuries ago so that I might have a relationship with the One who created me and loves me. The path of convenience isn't always the road the Lord wants us to take. As a matter of fact, when you look at the people who made the biggest impact on the Kingdom, they took the path of MOST resistance. Their reward on earth was little, if any. But their reward in heaven is great. I don't like to think that the Lord wants me on a rough path. I like my smooth little paved road with white lines and directional signs. It makes me happy. It makes me feel safe. But when that road - no matter how beautiful it may seem ahead, gives me an unsettling feeling, it's time to get off and regroup. For the Lord's peace is our directional sign when everything else seems foggy. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

A chore is just a chore, unless of course you're four!

My little Jase is a handful - I'll admit it. He's a cute handful, but nonetheless. Part of the reason is because he thinks he's 12. He wants to do everything his 8 year old brother can do - only better. On the way to church on Sunday he asked his father and I when he was going to start getting an allowance like big brother. After thinking about this for a while, we decided to give him a chore that is all his - catered to what he likes to do.......spray Windex. Now he still has other things to do that are expected, like pick up his things and carry his dish to the sink after supper, but my husband came up with a great chore for him. Every night he is to clean the bathroom sink with Windex and paper towels.

Last night was Day 1 of the chore. Wow was he excited! He sprayed and sprayed until he could spray no more. My oldest went in the bathroom to check on him and said "wow, it wreaks in here!" Jason was so proud of himself when he was done. He even sprayed the floor, toilet and mirror (oh joy!). I'm proud of him too. This morning he hollered at me on his way to the bathroom "Mom, I'm going to the bathroom! The CLEAN bathroom!"

Mary and Martha and Me

I'll be honest, I've had some long discussions with God about the whole Mary and Martha thing. Books have been read, studies have been done, and yet, this story has always irked me. Mary, as you remember, was the one who sat at Jesus' feet and listened while Martha was busy in the kitchen and irked. Martha finally gets worked up enough to say something to Jesus. "Lord, I'm in here doing all this work and Mary is doing nothing - ask her to help me!" Jesus responds "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Because I am a type-A, "get things done" kinda person, I obviously have strong feelings towards Martha. When I read this story in the Bible, I picture Mary sitting on the floor at the feet of Jesus, flowers in her hair, dressed in a long white gown (ironed by Martha) smiling - oblivious to her surroundings. Oblivious to what it takes to run a home, or do laundry, or be ready for such a guest as the Savior of the world. I read it and I'm upset. I mean, really, if all of us were like Mary nothing would get done! I picture Mary never worrying about anything because someone is always taking care of what should be her responsibility. Poor Martha - getting the shaft. "Sure you can sit there and listen to him" I see her saying to herself "because I'm in here doing all the work! Must be nice!" It's hard when you read the Bible at times to get a true picture of who a person is. Mary loved Jesus very much based on scripture ,and I am taking great liberty to picture her as a 60's flower girl (even though she does use perfume and wipe Jesus' feet with her hair). Nevertheless, I received new insight to this story on Saturday by Whitney Capps from Proverbs 31. In John 12 verse 2, a dinner is given in Jesus' honor and it reads "Martha served". I don't think this was just a little tidbit. I think it shows that Martha was still being Martha. While her sister was wiping Jesus' feet with her hair (being Mary), Martha is again doing what she does. Jesus didn't tell Martha to stop being herself. God created her and serving is part of her spiritual gifts that her heavenly Father gave her. Thank God for people like Martha! When Jesus said Mary had chosen what is better, he didn't tell her to never clean again; never cook again; never serve again. Jesus was there, in her presence, and yet she was busying herself with tasks. How many times am I missing out on being in the Lord's presence because of my task-oriented nature? How many times in teaching little children in Sunday School do I miss out on a "holy moment" because I am too busy preparing for the craft? How many times do I sit in church wondering where we are going for lunch instead of opening my heart to worship my Lord? Oh my goodness the times I have missed because I have chosen the wrong thing! So many times I say "be right with you Lord, just let me throw in this laundry first so it can be going while I talk to you. Oh, and let me get the dishwasher going so that can be finished when we're done. Well, let me grab this one call - it will only take a minute and then I'll be right with you." Yep, I'm a Martha alright! The best thing about this story though is found in John 11 verse 5. "Jesus loved Martha and her sister"....... Did you catch that? Jesus loved Martha. Jesus loved Martha! That verse has forever changed my thoughts on the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus loves me and my task-oriented self. He loves me when I make my list, and he loves me when my list goes unchecked. He loves me. How can I not want to spend time with Jesus? How can I continue to put all these meaningless tasks above being in the presence of someone who loves me this much? A Savior who loves me just as I am - with all my faults and sins. Yes, the laundry still needs to get done and lunches need to be packed - but only AFTER spending time with the only one who can change my whole day around. Thank you Lord for new insight to your word every day.

A baby shower!

Our church held a baby shower for local area moms this Saturday morning. Our Preschool Director did a fabulous job, as always, putting it all together. I had a lot of fun seeing old friends again and hanging out with all those pregnant gals.....and quite frankly, I was thankful not to be pregnant! Aren't these the cutest centerpieces you've ever seen?

Whitney Capps from Proverbs 31 Ministries spoke. She was great - I'll post more on that later.

Debbie read a great definition of a mother, which I will post later as well. Tons of prizes were given out: $50 Babies R Us gift card, MOPS membership, Dream Dinners, ceramic hand prints of your baby, and a Vera Bradley bag, just to name a few. Check out these fun games: The first was pick up the duck - on the bottom either "boy" or "girl" was written to find out if they are having a girl our boy.

The second one was disgusting! It's the "Guess the Poop" game. It's actually candy that is melted and put on diapers. Gross!

The third was funny, but disturbing! :) It's little plastic babies frozen in ice cubes. Each mom got a plastic cup with one ice cube. They could hold the cup in their hands or blow on it - but they were not allowed to touch it. First one who's baby was freed yelled "baby born!" and they won a prize. It was hysterical!

Each mom got a free lunch provided by our kitchen staff - yummy chicken salad on croissant, sesame sticks, fruit and dessert. Also, each mom got to go home with a gift- a diaper filled with goodies - book and cd and all sorts of fun stuff.

These ladies had a great time and hopefully came away with some biblical advice. I pray they also came away knowing that our church is there for them when needed, but most importantly, that God is there for them. You truly cannot be a mom without the help of Jesus. I am finding that out more and more each day. I always thought the newborn stage was hardest. It isn't; it's just different - each stage is. Thank God our church has been there for our family each step of the way. It was a great morning and I was so thankful to have been part of it.