If Eve were tempted by an apple, Adam surely would have been tempted by a woman

Infidelity. It's all over the news lately. From Jon Gosselin to Mark Sanford to John Edwards. It's heartbreaking. So many lives ruined; families destroyed. These men seemed, on the surface, to be good guys. Loved their wives; adored their children; and honored God. What happened, and is any man safe from the sin of infidelity? My husband and I often joke that if he thought about food as much as I did, and I thought about sex as much as he did, we'd both be happy. Men and women's needs are so vastly different, you wonder why God created us they way He did and expected us to live together as one. But he did create us differently and he has his reasons and they are wonderful at that, but what about these different needs? The emails Gov. Sanford sent to his mistress were beautiful and moving.....had they only been sent to his wife. Reading them in the context by which they were sent is sickening. He mentions in them that he "did not need love when they first met 15 years ago, but the battle scars of life and aging and politics have worn on and this has become a real need of mine." Men and women's needs are different, and they change over time. Sometimes we don't even know there is a void until someone, or something, starts to fill it. Then we are awakened to what was missing and wondering why our spouse hasn't been filling it. We turn to other people, or things, to fill it. Go all the way back to Genesis. The serpent was more crafty than all the animals God had made and temped Eve. When Eve saw the apple was "good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom" (Gen. 3:6) she ate it. How often we are temped by what feels good to us, is pleasing to us and is desirable. What a deceitful trap the evil one spins for us! He knows what works, even from the beginning, and we keep falling for it. The Lord tells us to "be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). My word, how many of us have been devoured of late? None of us are immune from the devils plans. Whether it is infidelity, financial struggles, pornography, or emotional needs we are getting met outside of marriage, it is all a sin and we must work hard and pray harder for protection around our husbands, our children and even ourselves. William F. Harley, Jr. has a wonderful website called Marriagebuilders. It is a great resource on the subject of marriage, and infidelity in particular. There also is a wonderful needs survey that I encourage you to take with your spouse. We may think we know what our husband's greatest needs are, but when was the last time we asked them? I used to believe there was some great character flaw in people who cheat. I don't anymore. We tell ourselves that was something "off" about them to make ourselves feel more secure; that it couldn't happen to us. It can. These people are no different from you and me. These wonderful families were not destroyed in a day. The foundation of their marriage was slowly stripped away, brick by brick, by choices that were made. A choice to take the kids to ball practice, again, instead of going out to dinner as a couple. A choice to flirt with a co-worker - it's just innocent fun. A choice to confide in a friend of the opposite sex instead of our spouse or a counselor. A choice to not deal with the needs of our spouse because I have needs too and they aren't getting met. A choice to put my kids, or my job, or my finances ahead of God. A choice to believe my husband will always feel the same about me no matter how I treat him or ignore his needs. A choice to do what feels good instead of what is right. Choices. What choice will I make today? What choice will my husband make today? What choice will you make today? "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6).