A visit to the past

My husband had business in Raleigh this weekend, and at the spur of the moment my children and I decided to join him. Truthfully, he sounded kinda bummed on the phone that he was spending another few days away from us and I just missed him, so, off we went. Several years ago, BC (before children), we lived in Raleigh for about a year shortly after we got married. It was neat to go back and see where we worked and lived and hung out. It was fun to see how much had changed in 15 years - and what hadn't. The next day we headed to Chapel Hill. My husband spent the first 3 years of his college career there before transferring to Charlotte. It's a long story why he did it, but suffice to say, he was much happier in Charlotte. As we showed the boys the campus and Daddy's dorm room, where he hung out and did things, it saddened my husband that he didn't enjoy his college times like he should have. He did have some good times there, but it was hard on both of us being away from each other and that added to both of our sadness during that time. We came away from this trip with good memories, and also a conviction of what we want for our boys. We want to instill confidence in them to do what they want, and to follow their dreams - not what they think we want for them. I pray they always follow the path that God leads them. Daddy's dorm that was being renovated - at least now it has air conditioning! Didn't have that when he was there! This is the only time I stood with him outside his dorm without bawling my eyes out! This trip was a lot of fun for all of us. There's a song I love by Trace Adkins called "You're Gonna Miss This". It's about life, and how we're always looking ahead instead of enjoying the moment. Going back to revisit old places makes you realize that time goes by so fast, and you should enjoy the good times before they are gone. We should all enjoy the life God gives us - in the good times and the bad. Our "official" Tarheel fans!

A Family Experience

We had vacation bible school at our church this past week, and this year was a little different. Instead of the moms working their tales off (and the church staff) to prepare and teach lots of lessons, this year our church did all the work and our whole family got to experience it together. Even the grandparents came one night. Our family was asked to do a charade....which I eluded to in an earlier post. Here are some pictures of the skit: Daddy playing the priest (very handsome priest I might add!). The Good Samaritan and his wounded, bloody brother (a big thanks to my friend Nancy and her daughter Caroline for letting us borrow the horse!)

Mommy trying to coax the wounded one to lie on the floor by himself - didn't work until I told him his big brother couldn't help him if he didn't lay down. That did it!

My sweet little boy helping his younger brother.

I was so proud of my kids. To go out in front of an audience and do everything they had rehearsed was amazing! I was more nervous than they were!

One proud Mama!

There are days my children make me so proud to be their Mom. Most days actually. But today was a very "proud Mama day".

My oldest son got a ridiculous amount of money for his 8th birthday, and he's done a great job and spending it, or not spending it as the case may be. Sure there's been a few silly purchases - like the rubber bracelet bought at the gas station on the way home from the beach, and an enormous amount of baseball cards. Overall though he has spent his money very wisely. Today we went to the bookstore and he immediately fell in love with this small stuffed dog. It was very cute and he wanted it, so I told him he could buy it with his money if he wanted to. He must have really wanted it because he didn't even flinch when I said this. Of course, then the younger one wanted one. "I'm not buying it, your brother is spending his own money" I told him. He pitched a small fit on the way to the restroom but quickly got over it. When we came out of the bathroom, my oldest was standing there waiting on us and said "Mom, I want to by him the dog." I made sure he knew he didn't have to do it, how much money it was going to cost him, but he wanted to do it. I told him it was o.k. with me if he wanted to do it. He then proceeded to take his younger brother over to where the animals were and showed them all to him - making sure he got the one he wanted. After changing his mind several times, he settled on a dog.

My youngest was so happy, and as we left the store he thanked his older brother as he squeezed his little dog. My oldest turned to me and said "it felt good to do that." I gave him a big hug and told him how proud I was of him that he gave of his money to do something nice for his brother. I guess somewhere along the way those bible lessons really do sink in!

How to make a mountain out of a mole hill....

So tomorrow night is the beginning of the preschool part of vacation bible school at church. Our preschool director asked several families to participate in bible charades - our family is one of them. We had to pick a bible story and act it out, on stage, in under two minutes this Thursday. Our family debated what stories to tell - my oldest picked a good one - the 10 plagues, but trying to wrap my head around how we could act all that out in under 2 minutes had me stumped. We settled on the Good Samaritan. Here's where I get ridiculous. I called the preschool office and asked if we were to dress the part. She said some were using what they had at home, some weren't. Well, that wasn't good enough for my family. My husband wanted me to look for a Darth Vader outfit at Party City as he is playing the priest. "Does a priest in biblical times look like Darth Vader?" I asked him. "I don't know and neither will anyone else. I just want a Darth Vader outfit" he replied. I informed him it wasn't Halloween and there was no way I was going to find a Darth Vader outfit this time of year. I settled on a black sheet with a gold satin pillow case (thanks to my oldest for finding that little nugget) to use as a collar. I've secretly been wanting new green sheets for our bedroom so you can guess what I'm using as my robe/costume...... They are going to look great on my bed when we're done! I managed yesterday to stop by Michaels and get face paint for the youngest as he's going to the wounded one on the side of the road (assuming we can get him to go out on stage to begin with). "The bloodier the better" my oldest says. His costume is ready as the boys went out with Daddy on Sunday and dirtied up an old t-shirt in the dirt pile beside our apartment. We found a couple of scarves at Target to use as belts and I am painting a styrofoam ring that my husband can use on his head to hold the head covering. My husband will be cutting a wooden dowel tonight so I can make a scroll for him to use as a prop. (People in the audience won't know what a priest looked like back then, but somehow they are going to know that Bible's were on scrolls.....whatever. I'm doing this to appease him.) We have read the story and practiced our part over and over again. This, my friends, is how you make a small little task into a ginormous one! I am still looking for one of those horses that are on a stick - you know the ones that kids ride. If I can't find one we'll just fake it!

My husband, My hero

Last week the kids and I were at the beach. I came home to a spotless apartment and my husband even went and brought back dinner for us Saturday night when we got home. We all were soooo happy to see him. Sunday we skipped church and slept in. We had a great day just hanging out as a family. Early Monday morning, however, I started to feel sick. I mean really sick. I was sick most of Monday so when my husband got home he took the kids out. The kids, by the way, were perfect angels while Mommy laid in bed all day. I only got up to get them food or drinks. I started feeling better Tuesday and ran errands for a little while with the boys. Got back home and it was time to fix dinner before vacation bible school at church. After dinner I felt really sick again. I took the kids to VBS, met my husband who took one look at me and said "go home, you look terrible". Now, normally I would be offended, but I actually thought it was sweet. He had told me on the phone to take the kids to VBS, give him instructions and go home to bed. I kept telling him I was ok. I wasn't. This year at VBS the parents are to stay with the kids. I was really looking forward to sharing this time as a family, but my stomach just would not cooperate. He blew me a kiss so as not to catch my germs and off to bed I went. I think I am up to going tonight. I hope so, because this is the last night for just my oldest and us as his little brother will join us Thursday and Friday. No doubt if I'm not up for it, my sweet man will take over. Thank God for him!

Everything is better at the beach

My kids and I are at the beach this week with my girlfriends and their children and it's been a lot of fun. We were just talking today how everything is better at the beach - food, drinks, conversation, just about everything. Except hearing our name: Mom. I loved being called Mom. I prayed for many years to hear that name. But when there are 6 kids in the house that call that name out...it gets a little old. Every child tends to sound like yours when they are calling "Mommmmmyyyyyy!" and we all respond to it. Thankfully the kids have all gotten a long and it's been fun. But I will say this, it's better at the beach without the kids too!

A Father's Legacy

"...parents are the pride of their children." Proverbs 17:6 Today is Father's Day. For many, this is a day of celebration; reflecting on our husbands as fathers, paying tribute to our own dads for what they are to us. But for many this is a solemn day. For those that have lost a father, it's a day of mourning. For those who are estranged from their father, it's just another reminder that their dad isn't who they want them to be. For those that were never able to become a father, it's a day of sadness. The role of a father is important. The role of a father is important to a son. He is the one his son imitates - both the good and bad qualities - and lives them out in his adult life. He is the one his son looks up to for guidance, love, and acceptance, even when he acts like he doesn't care about it. He is the one who will teach his son, without even trying, how to be a man, a husband, a father. His son will learn this just by watching. The role of a father is important to a daughter. He is the one his daughter looks for in a mate. It isn't until you are married that you realize this. Images and feelings, ingrained in you before you were even aware of them, play out in your adult life based on what you grew up with. How she should be treated, what is expected of her, how she is cherished (or not) are all things she will learn from her father and expect from the next important male in her life. The role of a father is important to a wife. A woman was not built to handle both the father and mother roles, and sadly, many have to do this. There are abilities only a father has that can fill a child's needs. The house is to be led by the man. A woman looks to her husband for leadership, but also compassion and understanding. She looks to him to respect her opinion, gain from her insight, and acknowledge what she means to the family, and him. This Fathers Day I am remembering my own Dad. What a wonderful example I had in what a father should be, what a husband should be, what a friend should be. I am missing him a lot today. I miss his voice, his hugs, and his belief in me that I could do anything. I also am thankful today that my husband and brother are now fathers. They, in part because of our father's example, are wonderful fathers themselves. I am so proud of both of them. Today I am also thankful for the best Father of them all - my Lord. He showed the greatest love by sending his son to pay for my sins. He always is the voice of reason. He constantly supports and guides his children. He always forgives, never condemns, disciplines when necessary and always, always loves. His embrace can ease the greatest sadness, his hand can calm the worst fear. His love can mend the brokenness of what an earthly father has done, or cannot do. This Fathers Day I am remembering all the wonderful fathers in my life, and putting them on the pedestal they deserve to be on. There is nothing like a father. No, nothing quite like a Father.

I am so happy today

I just had to take a minute before bedtime to write what an awesome day today has been. First, I got to run at 6:30 a.m. with one of my favorite people in the world, my friend Nancy. The kids did their chores, without me asking them, while I was in the shower no less, and we were out of the house by 9:30 a.m. Wow! We went to Trader Joe's and the boys had a wonderful time finding the animals on the seek-and-find paper while we shopped. Then it was off to the HT. I told the boys before we left I would let them pick out one thing - food related - during our grocery shopping (hoping this would keep them from bugging me for every chocolate coated food item in the store). It actually worked. God how I love when my parenting skills actually prove effective! We came home, made lunch, chilled out and then went to see "Kung Fu Panda". Very cute movie and I highly recommend it - although, I think the kids had almost as much fun at Trader Joe's and it would have saved me 40 bucks, but nonetheless, it was great. My oldest hasn't seen a movie in the theater in 4 years. He threw up outside a movie theater with his grandparents when he was 4 - he had the stomach virus and we didn't know it. Trying to tell him that the throwing up and the movie were not related has been a losing battle for 4 years. Today, he overcame that fear and we celebrated by going to Target and getting him a toy! Today was a great day. The chore chart we put together is not only working, but it is causing my boys to encourage each other to get them done. Tonight I reminded my youngest to put his clothes away by saying "where does your shirt go"? as it was sitting on the living room floor. As he went to pick it up, he saw his brother's shoes and said "Day-Day, where do your shoes go?" I laughed out loud. What an awesome day today has been. Thank you Lord for days like today.

A structured summer

Blah! Just looking at those words together makes me ill. However, that is what we are going to have - somewhat. After picking my children's dirty clothes off the floor for the hundredth time this weekend, and putting their dishes in the sink....again, and refereeing yet another argument, I decided early Sunday that this was not how I wanted our summer to go. "Help me Lord" was the first thing I did, followed by a google of "children's chore chart" on the internet. I found a great chart on DLTK that you can customize or use one of theirs. I came up with 8 things for each of my boys to do each day. These things are not hard - they are normal, every day things that my husband and I want our children to do automatically without us nagging them to do. Things like make your bed, put your dirty clothes in the hamper, pick up your toys, brush your teeth - things like that. I put them on a chart - one for each child (I used pictures for my almost 4 year old) with SpongeBob on the top that they could color and started to come up with consequences. Here's where it gets a little tricky. My husband and I sat down and brainstormed what would be the best way to encourage them to do these, not discourage them. For my oldest, it was money. My husband hesitate at first using money for him, as he didn't want everything tied to the almighty dollar, but this is the one thing that motivates my oldest son so we went with it. For every day he goes having checked every item off the list, he gets 50 cents. Not doing them is not an option. Doing it with an attitude will cost him 25 cents each occurrence. Other things like fighting with is brother will also cost him. Extra things he does without being asked he will get paid extra. These are not things we will continue to pay him for after summer, as I am a firm believer you don't get paid to be a part of a family. But to get him started and to begin some structure for what we expect of him in the fall we decided to go this route. My youngest will work from a prize box. When his list is checked off, he gets to go to the prize box each day. This box will be filled with stickers, lollipops, crayons, etc. Nothing expensive but fun for him nonetheless. We won't take the prize box away, his punishment for disobeying will be time out or a spanking if necessary. My husband and I sat down with the boys last night and I explained it to them. They agreed with it and seemed excited. The one thing we emphasized to them was that they were not to ask me to do anything - pool, ride bikes, play outside, etc. - until the things that needed to be done get done. Period. First thing this morning my son made his bed (on the list). My youngest went to the potty without my prompting him or nagging him (also on the list and a HUGE problem in our house). We went to the pool for 3 hours, I gave them a bath, they ate lunch and did a workbook page (on the list too!) without any complaining. My boys were so excited to have things checked off - they even asked me to check in different colored pens. I can honestly say this has been the best day we've had in months. They are getting along and encouraging each other in their chores and to help me. It has been a wonderful, wonderful day! I actually am looking forward to tomorrow!

2 birthdays now

A lady at the pool today asked my oldest son how old he was - he told her 8. He then told her he has two birthdays. She was excited for him and asked him when they were. "Well" my oldest replied, "my physical birthday is May 29th. My spiritual birthday is June 7th". "Oh" she said. "I understand". I don't know if she did or not, but I was so proud of my son that he already understands what he did Saturday night and what all of it means. I've thought a lot the last 36 hours of what caused him to finally commit to Christ. I know, first and foremost, that God called him. He stirred my son's heart as only God can and my son answered. Was this the first time he called him? I don't know. But I do know that he answered. I also realize how important it is in a child's life to surround them with truth. I know that God can call you to him without you ever having set foot in a church, gone to Sunday School or knelt in prayer. I know it can happen, but it certainly makes it harder. I believe reading the word as a family, attending a sports league that is Christ centered, attending church and going to his Christian school helped in his decision. Surrounding him by people who are speaking the truth to him, praying with him and for him - family, friends, teachers - all these played a part in my son deciding to follow Jesus. What was the "one" thing that did it? I don't know that there was "one" thing. I think it was all these things combined that prepared his heart to hearing God's voice. I pray he always knows the sound of his Father's voice.

What began as an ordinary day....

Yesterday was a great day. My son had his final baseball game and he had 4 hits at 4 at bat. He and his team got a trophy as the commissioner of baseball for our church league told a beautiful story of a father's love, and then related it to God's love for us through Jesus Christ. We had a great day and at the end of it my boys wanted to hang out and watch "Night at the Museum". Part way through the movie my son turned to my husband and asked "What does it take to commit to Jesus?" Now, we have had these conversations before - my son asks, my husband answers and then asks my oldest if he is ready. "Not yet" is always his reply. But last night, before my husband even finished his sentence, my son said he was ready. My husband asked him a few questions to make sure he understood, then we all knelt down and my son prayed the sinners prayer of commitment. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest! He didn't waste any time today either. When the alter call came during church, our son walked to the front, his dad and I by his side, and told our senior pastor he had given his heart to Jesus. I was so proud of him. My husband was so proud of him. Our senior pastor was so happy for him. I knew this day would come, I just didn't know when. My oldest thinks about things a lot and doesn't take anything at face value. I know with all my heart he is changed and that Christ is living in him. I can see it already. Prayer works. No matter how long, no matter how far away, no matter the struggle. Prayer works in every circumstances. Not in our time, but in His. We pray our children will hear His voice, and last night, my oldest son did. I will remember this day forever.

Great deal

Since my friend Nancy got me going on coupon clipping (I'm not as good as her, but I am enjoying the savings), I have been watching the grocery store advertisements for good deals for our family. Bi-Lo has a great deal going on this week where you buy 2 Digornio Ultimate pizzas for $7/each and you get 1 free Pepperidge Farm cake, 1 free Lipton Tea liter, 1 free TGI Friday's appetizer, and 1 free package of garlic knot rolls. So for $14 you get $34 worth of food. Granted, if you don't eat this stuff it's not worth it, but we do so it's great. We ate part of it last night and are looking forward to eating the remainder this weekend. Great deal!

Summer Vacation is here!!!

My son's last day of school was yesterday. Yipee!!! He got out at noon, then we went to Chic-fil-A with a lot of his friends for lunch. After lunch he and I and little brother went to our pool. Can I just interject here how much I love apartment living? There was only 3 other people in the entire pool area and we loved it! I can't believe how much my boys have learned through swimming lessons at Charlotte Swim Academy. Unbelievable difference. After 3 hours of swimming we came home, showered, waited for Daddy to get home and had pizza. My oldest decided last night he wanted to spend his first official day of summer vacation with his Dad. So the youngest and I are hanging out here while my oldest went to work with Dad. Daddy is taking 1/2 day off today so we'll meet them all for lunch and have a great family day. Next week we will have no schedule, but after that we will have some sort of loose schedule. I'm working on those plans now and will post when I am done. Man I love sleeping in!

Excuse me Ma'am, I mean Sir, I mean Ma'am...

As a great big thank you to our teachers for all they have done this year, several of us 2nd grade moms took them out to Cheesecake Factory last night for dinner. It was a great time and, once again, made me thankful my child is at the school where he is. I felt I could be myself around these other moms and it made me realize why my son feels he can be himself around his classmates. That little point makes a huge difference in our family's life. As we were eating dinner and chatting, two tables down from us sat a man dressed as a woman. One of our moms spotted the she-man and pointed him/her out. Now, this wasn't a woman trapped in a man's body. I've seen that - you know the type - they really look and act feminine and look better dressed as a woman than a man. Serious gender issues and I feel for them. No, this wasn't that type. This was a man. And his buddy/girlfriend that came in later was even more a man - 5 o'clock shadow and all. Of course, this prompted many trips to the bathroom by us ladies to get a closer look - and then the discussion began. "How do they find shoes to fit that size foot?" ; "Where do they shop for clothes and which dressing room to they use?"; "Which bathroom are they going to go in?"; "I wonder how long it took them to get ready?". After the flurry of discussion settled down we all came to the following conclusions: 1) why on earth would any man give up the luxury of it take only 10 minutes to get ready to become a woman and have to do all that we have to do? It must be for the attention. 2) never, ever let your child go to the bathroom alone.

Welcome to our world where you're ok, and I'm ok. Yeah, whatever.

Birthday party that is cheap

My oldest who just turned 8 wanted an IPod for his birthday. My husband and I agreed to do it, but we were going to severely cut back on his party because of the expense of his gift. He still wanted to spend time with his friends, and since our pool only allows a few guests per resident, I stole a great idea from my good friend Julie. Against my control-freak, have-to-know-everything-that-is-going-on, must-have-everything-planned-out self, I sent out invitations for all his friends and our family to meet at the park after school. The only problem (and it's a big problem for a type A person like me), was I would have no idea how many people would be at the park, whether they would be playing a soccer tournament there, or if someone else had the same bright idea as mine to do on the same day. I prayed everything would turn out well and it did (I'll blog more about how awesome God works in this way later). The boys had a great time playing games thanks to my brother the sports junkie who organized everything. My son also got a huge amount of gift cards - I don't think I got as much as he did when I graduated high school. The best part about it was it was free - and the kids had a wonderful time. Here's how I saved:

1. the park - free (no $300 party at Pump It Up this year) 2. I used photo paper I had here at home and printed up colorful invitations to mail out - basically free. 3. I used left over paper plates, napkins and cups that weren't used from various parties we've had here. It got rid of stuff that was cluttering my pantry and the kids could have cared less that they weren't "themed". 4. Had my brother organize games and after a while, most of the kids just wanted to play on the playground anyway. 5. Instead of expensive juice boxes, I bought fruit punch that was on sale and distilled water with ice - worked out great and much cheaper than juice boxes. As a matter of fact, there was so much punch left over I am using it tonight for our baseball party. 6. Cupcakes - what a wonderful thing! My son wanted cupcakes so instead of a $25 cake (or more), we had cheap, delicious cupcakes. I also cut up watermelon that was great for an outdoor party and bought snacks that were on sale at Target. So, that's my recipe for having a fairly inexpensive birthday party for a child. You can do it - it just takes a little planning.

The end of Preschool

How cute is this picture?! My youngest had his last day of preschool a couple weeks ago (I know, I know, I'm late in getting the pictures posted). He absolutely loved his teachers and class mates. It will be hard to top this year. He brought in red roses for his teachers and melted their hearts. I mean, who wouldn't cry from seeing that sweet face bring you a flower?

Lessons from "Sex"

I went to see "Sex in the City" last night with a friend and came away with a few thoughts - life lessons if you will. 1. Women, with all our touting of Independence from men, are still idiots when it comes to love. Of the four main characters in the movie, only one woman had figured out how to make a relationship work and guess what? She was the sweet, humble, grateful one. One was so self-centered she refused to believe she had anything to do with her marriage break up. Another one gave up a lot of herself to be with the man she loved....and that translated into a bad thing in this movie. The main character's relationship with her on-again off-again boyfriend of 10 years had me seething. I have a good friend who went through a relationship like that only to have it devastate her. I'm sure this movie for the vast majority of people ended just like they wanted it. For me it didn't. After being treated badly by this man, I would have rather seen the ending be her facing him and telling him that until he learns that a relationship is about two people - both of whom are willing to give of themselves and sacrifice for the marriage - he needs to live in a convent. It didn't end that way, but it should have. 2. $9.50 is way too much money to pay on soft-porn. Honestly, it's way too much money to spend on any movie, but for the life of me I'm not sure why this movie wasn't rated "X". I don't buy the old excuse that the sex scenes in a movie add to the story - total boloney. There was no point whatsoever in the graphic scenes they showed and it blew the movie for me. I don't care how close you are to the person sitting next to you, watching scenes like that make you uncomfortable. I'm sure for the 3 guys that were dragged to this movie it was well worth it. Maybe that's why they put it in. 3. Forgiveness is key to any relationship. Enough said. There was a running theme through the end of this movie that was wonderful - forgiveness. One of the main characters in the movie couldn't forgive her husband until she did something to someone else that she needed forgiveness for. One of the greatest lines in the movie is when this girl and the friend she was begging forgiveness from are sitting in a cab. The one who was wronged turned to the one who wronged her and said "you have refused to forgive your husband after six months of him saying I'm sorry and begging you to forgive him - yet here you sit after only 3 days of hurting me and telling me I have to forgive you." Her self-righteous attitude was called out and it was great. If I can remember how sinful I am and need forgiveness from Jesus (probably for even watching this movie and paying for it), then I can forgive others more easily. If I don't think I've done anything wrong - why would I need to forgive others who have wronged me? 4. Friends are the mirrors in our lives. I love this line. Friends and family are able to hold us accountable, teach us lessons, and force us to see ourselves in ways we never could alone. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes our friendships don't survive the truths that are exposed, but most times our friends bring out the best in us. They see potential in us where we see faults; they see beauty where we see ugliness; they see life-lessons where we only see failure; they see what we can do, where we see what we can't. It's important to pick good friends that love you for who you are and want the best from you. It's also important that you can be yourself around these people and not be judged. This lesson alone was worth the price of the movie. If it weren't for the sex scenes I would highly recommend this movie. Maybe wait until it comes on TBS and they cut those out to see it. Then it would be worth it.