Fun Fridays!

We carpool with 2 girls most days - ages 8 and 5. When they are in the car with my 2 boys, the chatter never stops. But some days, most days actually, my boys would rather just listen to their Go Fish Guys cd. This morning was one of those days. My 3 year old, in particular, loves singing along to the cd, and when the girls wouldn't stop chatting in the 3rd row seat, he got a little irritated. The 8 year old girl kept asking him what his problem was. He finally, in utter disgust, closed his eyes and yelled - "JUST STOP TALKING!" I laughed all the way to school. And so it is with girls - that is pretty much all we did at the MOPS Convention - so here are a few pictures from that - what a great time! Thanks Nancy for reminding me to do this!

Christy, Rebecca, Camille, Jen and me before the session started. Great shirt design Camille! We always could find each other in the crowd with these shirts.

Salvador in concert - man were they good!

Matt Redmon was the worship leader. He is the one in the back row, second from the right. Pictured here with us and his band. If your church does contemporary worship, he wrote most of the songs you hear. What a truly gifted man he is - and his wife is 7 months pregnant!

I can't help but post this picture - my friend Christy is 6 months pregnant and looks so cute - especially since all of us match. It's hard to tell from this picture who is further along in their pregnancy, Christy, Boz or me (I'm not pregnant at all by the way). Don't kill me Christy!

This trip was so much fun! Love you girls!

Better Moms make a better world!

I just returned from the MOPS International Convention in Orlando, Florida where 5 of us went from our steering team at church. What an exhausting, exhilarating time we had! These girls were so much fun - I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. The convention is always a great time to be away from my family, and yet reflect on them and my role as a wife and mother at the same time. I am grateful that my husband always has renewed appreciation for me after 4 days of handling the boys on his own (with help from Grandma!) We heard lots of great speakers and artists (Matt Redman, Sara Groves, the Go Fish Guys (my kids love them!)) We also were privileged to hear John Orteberg and Julie Barnhill. I am so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to be a part of MOPS and for my church who helps us get to convention. I am excited about this upcoming year and what the Lord has in store for our group. The new slogan for MOPS is "Better Moms Make a Better World". What a true statement that is. We as moms have an awesome responsibility to shape our boys and girls into adults that not only will trust in the Lord, but will trust Him enough to be used for His Kingdom purposes. So if I don't take the time to eat right, how can I expect my child to eat right? If I don't value exercise, my child won't. If I don't turn to the Lord with my struggles, fears and insecurities, how can I expect my child to? And I can't drink or smoke and say to my child - "don't do this". They are watching - always. So for me, I have to take time to make myself better (and NOT feel guilty) so that my world - which for me is my family - will be better.

Fun Fridays

I'm off to Orlando for a convention, so I'm doing Fun Fridays a couple days early.

The name behind him says it all. He looked at me the other day with a slight frown on his face, nose all bunched up and asked "Are you serious?" He makes me laugh more than anyone.

The oldest loves baseball - and I love watching him play. He's awesome! The neighborhood kids made him cry today - just not being nice. I pray our next neighborhood has kids his own age that are fun to be around. He is such a sweet child and I hope he maintains that sweetness for the rest of his life. What a joy he is. He warms my heart every day.

Esther - A Woman God Used

We started a new bible study this week - "Becoming A Woman God Can Use - A Study on Esther" by Judith Couchman. I love the story of Esther and I especially love being able to delve into her life more in depth. If you ever have any doubt as to whether God controls the circumstances around you - or can use the choices YOU have made for HIS glory - read about Esther. She was taken in by a relative when her parents died, chose to be in the King's harem to be used for his sexual pleasure and by doing so encountered Lord only knows what. Yet when the time came, God was able to use Esther to save His people from death. As you read the story of Esther, you can see God's hand on so many areas that even Esther wasn't even aware of. How God worked so many circumstances together, all so his people could be saved. It's a short book in the Bible and yet reads like a great fictional tale, yet is true. The main character of course is Esther herself, but not because she fought a great battle, or defeated a giant, or even witnessed Jesus' resurrection. No, the story of Esther is awesome solely because God used her. Interestingly enough, God is never mentioned in this book by name. I think this is why this story resonates with me so dearly. How often in my life I can look back and see God's hand, when often I wasn't even in close relationship with Him. I was worried, yet God was working. I was crying out to Him "where are you?" and He was working. I was oblivious to His presence, yet He was working. He worked the circumstances in Esther's life out of love. He works the circumstances in my life out of love. He will work the circumstances out in your life, because of His deep abiding love for you.

20 year reunion

I can't believe it but next weekend is my 20 year high school reunion. Several of my class mates have created a great website for us to go on and update our lives. It's been great fun reading about how many different paths we each have taken, and how many are similar. I am amazed at how many times I've had to refer to my yearbook to refresh faces with names. Old age I guess! Reunions are always a perfect benchmark to analyze your life. You can't really help it. Reading about what others have done or are doing always makes one compare their own success or failure. Many on the site bragged about the cars, businesses, and homes they own; while others felt the need to say "still single" or "no kids...yet". I'm not sure why the human race always compares themselves against each other. It's unfair really. You can't possibly know every detail and decision another person has made that led them to where they are now - good or bad. What sacrifices did they make? What trauma's have they been through? No, it should be enough that we have done what God has asked of us. When we keep our eyes focused on Him, what others do becomes less important.

Resolutions are harder than they look....

Ok, so when I posted the other day about changing my negative behavior, little did I know how quickly I would be challenged on it. Negative thoughts are something I battle daily; some days I win, some days I don't. Yesterday bounced between the two, eventually landing safely somewhere in the middle. My husband's doctor's office called yesterday and the only message they would give me was for my husband to call them. He had blood work done last week, so I was sure this was the results. My thoughts immediately swayed from "it must be bad and that's why she won't tell me" to "it's a privacy thing, laws and such. I have to respect it - even if I am HIS WIFE!". So I called my husband and relayed the message, to which his response was "Ok." "Weird". After hanging up the phone with me, my husband called his doctors office, got the information and then called me back. Here is where I wonder why God created males the way He did. The first 2 minutes of the conversation were all the things that showed up ok - kidneys, liver, and whatever else it was he said. To be honest I wasn't paying much attention - I couldn't hear over the loud voice in my head screaming "GET TO THE POINT - WHAT ARE YOU DYING OF!" He finally got around to mentioning his cholesterol. "Ok, good" I thought. "It's not cancer. So what is it then?" I'm still thinking to myself. "Angioplasty, stint, transplant......just spill it". It turns out that he is fine. Better than fine actually, he's great. Because he changed his diet and started working out, his cholesterol has dropped significantly. My husband is not overweight at all, but he didn't like the way he felt after our vacation (neither did I but that hasn't stopped me from eating!). He started eating fruit instead of fries and kept his portions low. He's done a great job. Now that I know he is not dying, I am proud of him. But yesterday was just another example of those days where I say to myself "why did my thoughts even go there?" And even more so, how do I stop them? That's the question I keep trying to answer.

Remembering 9/11

This is one of those days that none of us will forget. You remember exactly where you were, and exactly how you felt when that 1st plane hit the World Trade Center. At first, like most people, I thought it was a horrible accident. Then the 2nd plane hit, then word of the plane crashing into the Pentagon came, and then the plane going down in Pennsylvania. The panic that swept through us was unforgettable, and then you wondered if it was going to end. My oldest was only 1 then and I remember thinking what kind of world have I brought him into. The churches across America were filled that Sunday. For the first time in decades all people were brought together for a common purpose - to find comfort in each other and try to make sense of it all. Thankfully many reached out to the Lord and found comfort in Him. Those people that got on those planes and went into work that day couldn't possibly have known that when they left that morning it would be the last time they saw their spouse, or kissed their children goodbye. For a moment that fall morning, the world stopped. For days after that, it was like we were all in slow motion. Many people left work to come home to their families, call relatives, hug their children. Work, money, deadlines all didn't seem to matter much any more. We're back to our fast pace now, probably even faster than before 9/11. But I hope we always remember that day. Not just for those that were lost, and have been lost since in fighting the war on terror. But to remember that during this tragedy, at least for a few days, we all shared common ground in what really matters in life.

Instead of......I will.....

Ok, so it may be a little early for resolutions, but I figured if I start now, maybe they will become actual patterns in my life by January 1st. But instead of saying I resolve to lose weight this year, to spend more "quality" time with my kids, to read "x" amount of pages of the Bible a day, I'm going to replace some destructive behaviors with positive ones. So here goes... Instead of rewarding myself with food, I will eat to live, not live to eat. Instead of having an agenda for my quiet time, I will let the Lord tell me what to do. Instead of complaining about the distance I drive to take my kids to school, I will thank God for the special time we have in the car to discuss their days, their dreams and their frustrations. Instead of being mad at my husband's work hours, I will be thankful for his work that allows me to be at home and serve in so many areas. Instead of setting a goal to work out 3 times a week, I will do something.....anything....every day - whether that is walking, sit-ups, aerobics, whatever. Instead of winding down my day in front of the tv, I will grab a book instead. Instead of seeing people through my eyes, picking out their faults and comparing myself to them, I will pray to see them through God's eyes - as the beautiful, unique people He created, and whom He loves deeply.

Love the Chocolate!!

When he says his ice cream in "delicious", he really means it. He takes after his mom on this one...for sure.

Everyone should have a friend like this....

Encouraging Words

As I was writing my post from yesterday, the Lord reminded of the people He placed around me and how they have changed my life, all through their encouragement. I went to look up the word encourage in the Bible the other day and was amazed and how many times it shows up throughout the New and Old testament. In Deuteronomy, God tells Moses to encourage Joshua because he will be leading the Israelites into the promised land. Paul also describes encouragement as a gift, much like prophecy or teaching in Romans. I've never looked at encouragement as a spiritual gift, but in reflecting on those that have encouraged me over the last year, I can see it now. Had my friend and neighbor Melanie not encouraged me the first time I asked her about starting a neighborhood bible study, we still wouldn't have one to this day. For little did she know how apprehensive I was about just asking her opinion about it. My friend Nancy called me almost every day once I agreed to take over the MOPS Coordinator's position from her at church. Much like an adult teaching a child to walk, she held my hand and told me I could do it, when to the deep recesses of my soul I felt I couldn't. Both of these ladies always encouraged me and gave me sound, spiritual advice to which I am grateful for to this day. My mom and mother in law have always told me what a great mom I am at the exact moment I needed it - usually after a night of staring at the ceiling asking God how He could have ever trusted a wreck like me with two beautiful boys. My friends Sandy and Lori who encouraged me through some of the darkest periods of my life and still hung around. My friend Kimberly who offered encouragement to start a prayer for our boys' first day of Kindergarten that now has spread to a school-wide prayer on the first day of school. My steering team at church who encourage me just by letting me watch how God is working so greatly in their lives with the gifts He's given them. They are my closest friends. My sweet grandmother who always knows when to call me because the Holy Spirit prompts her and she obeys. And of course my dear husband. There's not enough room on the internet for how that man has changed my life. Next to Jesus, he is my greatest encourager. So today I am sending this blog to those that have encouraged me over the years. Even if you're not mentioned here, if you get this you have encouraged me in some way. You may never know what a simple act of encouragement can do for someone, or how it could change the course of someone's life. Yes, encouragement is a gift. A gift from a loving God who wants to encourage us every day so that we may encourage others.

Saying Yes

We had the honor of having Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 speak at our MOPS group last night. What a wonderful evening! She had us laughing and crying and for me personally, she was yet another reminder of what God can do through you when you just say yes to Him. I've been a part of this MOPS group for 4 years and on the steering team for 2. My husband had the unique opportunity to hear me start the meeting off last night; he has never seen one of these meetings before and I wasn't aware he was there until I finished. When I got home, he said how proud he was of me, and amazed at how much I have changed. God has changed me and it all started with a simple act of obedience. When I hated living in my neighborhood, God pressed upon me to start a neighborhood bible study. "No, Lord" was my response. For 6 months I argued with him. I prayed he would move in the neighborhood, or move me out of it. Little did I know he wanted to use me to move in the neighborhood. I finally answered the call and the girls in my study are such a blessing to me. I love them. After arguing with the Lord on this point, when he asked me again to do something, I immediately answered. This time it was MOPS. He wanted me to call the coordinator at the time and ask to help. Now, this is a group that up to this point I had felt out of place. I wasn't really sure I was going to come back. But I called and that simple phone call started a chain of events that not only made me coordinator one year later, it also brought me new loving and supportive friends that have changed my life. Bringing us back to last night. If you could have been inside my head a year ago, you would never have believed I was that person last night. I don't know how much of my anxiety showed last year, but it paralyzed me in many areas. It was hard enough for me to carry on a conversation with one girl in the back of the room. No way was I going up in front of the room to speak! But God has worked in me. I now have the confidence to lead our school in prayer, our MOPS meetings and anything else he asks of me. It doesn't mean I don't get butterflies in my stomach any more, I do. But the initial fear is just that - initial, and then I press on. Last night was a true testament to what He can do when we say yes. I may be afraid at times, but I'd rather be afraid and say yes, than miss out on the tremendous blessing if I were to say no.

We're moving

After much prayer we have decided to put our house on the market. There were several reasons why; the main one being we want to be closer into town. I am thankful that this decision came easy for us. I wish I could say how much we are going to miss the neighborhood and our neighbors. There are several families we will miss, but for the most part, we have never felt that we fit in. I have mixed emotions about the people here. My family is not social. We don't like parties and prefer to stay in and hang out as a family. We have tried, however, to socialize in this neighborhood more than anywhere else. Don't get me wrong, there are good people here who have done a lot of good for their neighbors and others. But as a whole, I always felt like I was trying to fit a square peg (me) into a round hole (the neighborhood). The Lord asked me to start a bible study here and I begrudgingly did. I am so thankful for those group of women and all they have meant to me. I have learned a lot by living here of what I want and what I don't want my life to be. It has been through living in this neighborhood that I have become acutely aware of how decisions you make can isolate you. We make no excuses for being Christians. I love Jesus and He guides our every ways. I don't shove that down people's throats though. We also decide to stay in most nights. Because of DH's work schedule, our family time is very precious and I know that didn't come across well with our neighbors. We also have made the decision not to send our child to public school......and we've heard some pretty crappy comments because of it. I always find it peculiar why some people feel they have the right to criticize another person's decisions. I don't criticize them for sending their children to public school - the schools are great out here. Why do they feel the need to do that to me? I'm constantly asking the Lord, could I have done something different? Did You call me to do something here and I refused? What else could I have done? Am I too much to myself that it makes me look stand-off-ish? Sometimes, though, it's just not a good fit, and that is the case here. We continue to pray for the Lord's wisdom and guidance so that our next move will be a better fit for us.