Husband = Personal Shopper

Last weekend my husband and I dropped the kids off to spend the night at Grandma's while we had a much needed night out. We went to dinner and shopped at a local mall. My husband has been bugging me to buy some new clothes - yes, you heard me right. I am not a shopper when I know I need to lose 15 lbs., but my husband insisted we at least "look". So we wandered into a large department store known to keep petite sizes and off he went. For as long as I have known him, he always picks out the best clothes for me. As a matter of fact, if I had $1,000 to spend on clothes, I would give it to him to shop for me. So while I was in the dressing room trying on the first few things we found, he kept finding stuff. The funniest thing was the sales girl. She would walk into the fitting area and say "uh, ma'am, I think your husband found more things for you to try on. Do you want me to bring them to you?" She later informed me how cute she thought that was. I finally had to tell him to stop - the store was closing. I later was telling my friend about this and she said that it was her ultimate fantasy to have her husband do that! I admit, I am blessed to have a husband like the one I have. It was a great night and I wound up with a lot of great clothes!

A sad anniversary

Today marks 13 years that my father went to be with the Lord. In some ways it doesn't seem that long, and in other ways it does. I was 25 when my father died, had only been married 3 years and had no children. A lot has changed. It makes me sad that my father hasn't been here to share in my joy and sorrow; to talk to when I need advice or just to be able to feel his hug or hear his voice. The thought that he is watching from above brings little comfort to me. I miss him terribly. The cavernous void that was left with his passing the Lord has graciously filled over time, although there will always be a deep void that will always be there. I think back to how I felt 13 years ago and how my thoughts on his death changed my life. It wasn't until I put a photo album together for my first son about his grandfather several years ago that the Lord spoke to me about anger and resentment over his death. It was cathartic for me to go through old pictures of my father and hear what his friends and family had to say about him. I cried like he had died all over again. But as I was putting the finishing touches on the album, the Lord spoke to me in a voice I have yet to hear that clearly again. He said "Sherri, look at the life I gave your father. You have focused on his death, focus on his life". So from that point on whenever I think about my dad, I think about my years with him. I am flooded with memories of him pulling me and my brother on a sled; me baking cupcakes for him in my easy-bake oven; the patience only a father could have trying to teach his daughter piano at age 6. I remember fondly now the boundaries he put around me that I resented as a teenager and how often those boundaries protected me from my own naivety. The strength of a father to walk his only daughter down the aisle - keeping from her how much pain he was in so that she could enjoy her day. It has taken me years to get to this point, but I am thankful for so many wonderful memories the Lord allowed me to share with my dad. Philippians 4:8 is my verse for today "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things". I have many questions to ask the Lord when I get to heaven as to why my father had to suffer and die at such a young age. But for now, I cling to this verse and remember a loving father whom I miss very much but will one day be reunited with again.

Funny sayings from my 3 year old

We've been playing a lot of Chipmunks Christmas and Cartoon Christmas carols in our car the last few weeks. I am amazed at how much my 3 year old remembers all the words, but there were a few he got mixed up (as well as some other routine words) that make me laugh. "Ho, Ho, the Mister Toe..." (instead of mistletoe) "Then one froggy Christmas Eve....." Then the questions always come, "why is it froggy out mommy when Rudolf flies?" Frosty's two eyes made out of "cold" "daffries" instead of french fries "front pooch" for fruit punch Try to tell him he's saying it wrong too, go ahead. See how far it gets you!

Back in the swing of things

Yesterday school started back for my oldest and today starts preschool for the youngest. Although the youngest didn't make it today because he was sick, we still enjoyed one more day together and he was my little helper putting away the Christmas decorations (yes I broke a few more than usual with his "help", but it was worth it!). My oldest went back without any problems. This truly is a miracle. He is a homebody as much as me, so for him to go back without a fight tells me he was ready, just as much as I was. The fighting and bickering that goes on between these two wears me out most days and as much as I am thankful to have had this wonderful holiday, I am glad to be getting back to our normal routine. I think it will also help my mood, which has been pretty crappy of late. I was up until 3 a.m. not able to sleep. I kept asking the Lord if He was keeping me up - or just too much iced tea - and I never really did get an answer (although the number of trips I took to the bathroom tells me it was more likely the latter). At least the Christmas stuff is down (with the exception of one of our trees - I can't get it apart) now we move on to cleaning. We have 2 people interested in our house so it needs to be clean for the weekend. I know the Lord has the right buyer out there - I just hope he/she comes soon!

2008 - What's in store?

As I begin to write down the goals I want to accomplish for 2008, I am reminded of how I felt a week or so ago. My husband and our oldest were in NY visiting family, my youngest was spending the night at Grandma and Grandpa's and I was enjoying a much needed evening out with one of my best friends. It was the first time I could remember not having someone waiting for me. I could stay out as late as I wanted, do whatever I wanted, didn't have anyone calling me or waiting up for me. To be honest, it was great! I thoroughly enjoyed dinner and shopping and coffee and talking and laughing with my friend. On the drive home though I felt sad. Strangely not sad that no one was waiting for me, but sad that I had re-connected with myself and how much I missed that girl. I was incredibly sad that I had forgotten there was a Sherri in here somewhere. For just a few hours I wasn't in the capacity of being a wife or a mom or daughter or Room mom. I was just me. No other responsibilities other than what I - and only I - wanted to do. I got home and stayed up until 2 a.m. watching late night t.v. and wrapping all, yes all, of our Christmas presents. I enjoyed snacks and a glass or two of wine while I sat on the floor giddy at how excited our boys were going to be over their presents. But I haven't forgot about how I felt on the way home, and so, as I begin this New Year I am determined to find moments during the day, and week, to reconnect with myself and what I enjoy. I know that if I do this, I will be a much happier person which will make me a much better wife and loving mother. My first goal for this year was actually suggested to me by our church counselor over 9 months ago - find time each week to be by yourself. No writing grocery lists, or running errands. Do something you like to do for yourself. I honestly tried - twice - to do it when he suggested it and then life took over. So starting this week, I am going to get a good book, go to my favorite bagel place and for an hour (or more) once the kids are at school I will read. I love to read and I have really missed it. I am hoping taking this important step will help me do all the others. My second goal is just as important as my first, to reconnect with my heavenly father. This has to be a daily thing for me and I have bought a notebook to just write down prayer lists and other daily events. This notebook will give me a great indication of how well I am doing in my prayer life as well as other things. The next is obviously my health. As I get depressed or lonely, food is my comfort. It shows. My thoughts about that have to change, and as they do, my weight will too. I feel better when I work out and my goal is to take an aerobics class once a week and then the elliptical machine 2 times a week. This won't happen though unless I do step 1 and 2. My thoughts of food have to change and the only way I know to do that is to fast. I am praying about when to fast and for how long, but I have done it before when my thoughts of food get out of line and it's the only way I know to get them right again. No food, no matter how great, can take the place of Jesus. Our life is in upheaval now and I will openly admit here that I am not handling it well. I don't like change and instead of standing on my rock I am shifting with the sand - and eating lots of chocolate along the way. I know the only way to weather this storm is to hold tight to Jesus. It's my only way through. My other goals will come as I spend more time in prayer of what the Lord wants me to do. More dates with my husband, more patience with my kids are on the short list (and always remain there), spending more time with my brother and extended family too, but how to do it I am still working out. I do know for sure that once May rolls around I will be taking a much needed break, but instead of waiting until then I am making steps now to improve. My husband and I each take a weekend -separately - to pray and spend time with the Lord. We will be doing that in the upcoming months as there are many decisions we have to make that affect our future. I look forward to sharing with you then what the Lord has given me.

2007 - A year of growth and challenges

This last year the Lord allowed a lot of growth into my life that I am thankful for. Through this growth I deeply depended on Him and when things weren't going the way I wanted, I reverted back to depending on my self. My relationship with Him has suffered of late and I am feeling it. My desire to pray and spend time with Him has fallen way short of what I want it to be. It's a roller coaster I ride too often and I am ashamed of it. We made tremendous (and frightening) steps to make our home life better. We are still in the process of finalizing all those steps but several pieces have fallen into place recently that helps us to know we are moving forward in the right direction. MOPS at church continues to do well and single handedly has been the greatest blessing to me this last year. I will be winding down my responsibilities there and praying fervently for the Lord to instruct me as to who He wants to take this job over when I am done. It's an awesome responsibility, but how the Lord has blessed me through this ministry I can never put in to words. It has changed who I am. Our neighborhood bible study covered a lot of terrific topics this year from Believing God by Beth Moore to a study on Esther. I knew the challenge of doing a Beth Moore study was going to be tough and unfortunately there were a few that decided the challenge was too great and left. I wouldn't change my decision to do this study though and I am deeply proud of the girls that have hung on and continue to make our study a priority. I've seen too many bible studies become social events where the study becomes non-existent. I am committed to understanding God's word more in depth and also enriching relationships through these studies. I continue to pray as to what the Lord will have us do in 2008. I am thankful to still be working for the investment company I was working with before I had my boys. They are a blessing to me and an outlet I am deeply grateful for. The Lord allowed new friends into my life this last year and I am so thankful for them. They are good friends that I can pray with and laugh with and cry with and I can only hope I bless them as much as they bless me. My oldest continues to learn and grow and become more independent. It's hard to believe how much he has matured over this last year. He is still my sweet, caring son, but with more confidence in himself than I have ever seen before. I owe most of that to the Lord putting him in the right school that is perfect for him and who God made him to be. I also think the right amount of sports activity has also helped with his confidence without burying us as a family in commitments. It was the perfect amount for him this year and it has shown. My youngest continues to challenge us and at the same time make us laugh. He has adjusted very well to school and for the most part cries very little - only in Sunday School. He still has a horrible diet. It has gotten better this last year but no where near where it needs to be. He also pushes every button I have and challenges me on every decision I make. We continue to hold firm the boundaries we have set in place for him and one day he will learn to stop hitting his head against this brick wall. Until then I accept we will both just be frustrated with each other for now. He loves being at school and is not shy - he is a leader which will help him later on. Him trying to be the leader in our house at 3 years old is what is causing the problem, but I am learning to understand his personality more and loving him through it. My husband has always been a terrific goal setter and this year was no different. He wanted to lose weight, he did. He wanted to change his lifestyle and he is. I admire him greatly and I know the Lord will bless him for putting our family first. This last year for us has been challenging both as individuals and as a couple. We didn't go on as many dates as we planned and fell way short of prayer time together. Changes are being made though. Thankfully all of our family members are still with us and are healthy. We had a few close calls but the Lord answered our prayers. This has definitely been the year of answered prayers. From my little friend Carter being delivered from a brain tumor, our friend Julie as well, to Rick's grandfather recovering from surgery. So many of our friends have been blessed with babies this year, and most of them had been trying for a very long time to add to their family. For them I am thankful to the Lord that He heard their prayers. Our church finished it's new Preschool/Children's wing and it is a true testament to what God can do through His people that make sacrifices in His name. To look back over an entire year and say that all is still as good or better than the last is a blessing. I know not all years are going to be like that. I am thankful for all the Lord allowed to happen this year - good and bad. I pray the decisions we have made this last year were according to His plan and that everything will fall into place in 2008.

Happy New Year!

After much debate yesterday of whether we would go to the mountains to ring in the new year or stay here - we settled on staying home. I am glad. The main reason we wanted to go was to see the snow - that didn't materialize and I was thankful we didn't make the trip. We spent a great night watching movies, eating pizza, popcorn and candy and then watching the ball drop. This was the first year our entire family made it to midnight! We had a great time and are still in our pajamas as the kids are playing ball inside with Daddy while I reflect on this last year. Before I post on my goals for 2008, I think it's good to reflect on where I am now and what was done in 2007. I look at goal setting as a perfect opportunity to take stock in what's been accomplished, but also to measure what needs to be improved on and how much. Kind of like losing weight. If I set a goal to lose 15 pounds but never get on the scale to see that I really need to lose 25, I'm not getting the full benefit of goal setting. If you can measure it, you should. And such is my theory on goal setting. My next post will be all about 2007. I hope you have a healthy and happy start to the New Year!