Tossed around

"..until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." Ephesians 4:14-16 I think about this verse often throughout my week. Too many times I feel tossed back and forth by the ups and downs of life, and blown here and there by situations that are thrown at me. You know how those days go don't you? You get some great news, lose a few pounds, husband gets a promotion and you are feeling great - thanking God. You're friends are thanking God for you - telling you that God must be with you because everything is going so smoothly. "It must be God's will" you're thinking. Then you hit a bump in the road (or a mountain). You get bad news, your husband's promotion only lasted until he was laid off a couple months later. During these times I always wonder "what did I do God? Was this not your will? Did we miss something?" Up. Down. Up. Down. I am reminded of Peter when he saw Jesus walking on the water and Jesus beckoned him to come. Peter immediately got down out of the boat and walked on the water and went toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and started to sink. Peter cried out to Jesus to save him and he did. I picture Peter being confident as he looked upon Jesus. "This is my Lord. He can do anything" I imagine him saying. Then the wind caught his attention. He took his eyes of Jesus and briefly glanced at the wind. It was just enough to cause panic, and the firm ground that once was beneath his feet became fragile water again. Focus on Jesus. Focus on Jesus. How I long to stay strong and steady as I see the wind. If I keep my eyes on Jesus and not the storms, I can remain in Him. Maturity is out there, I just have to keep striving for it.

Regaining Focus

I'll have to admit, for the most part, these last couple of years have been pretty easy. Kids are doing well, no deaths in the family, no health issues. You can probably say we've been on "cruise control". Cruise control is great when you are driving. It allows you to relax a bit, and when you are driving on the highway at night halfway through a 10 hour trip, it's nice to have that little relief. You would think, however, that having one less thing to concentrate on would allow you to focus on other things: other drivers, keeping yourself between the lines, watching out for the police (not that I speed!). I notice it does the opposite for me. I get more tired, I'm not as focused. Often times during a long trip, I'll take the cruise control off just so I'm more aware of everything and feel more in control. It's kind of how our lives are now. When things are going great and we're on "cruise control" you would think I would have more time to spend with the Lord, more things to thank Him for. I don't. I spend less time with Him. I get tricked by the sound of the easy road beneath me that I think I don't need him today, or yesterday, or the day before. Maybe I just think - "things are going great....why bother Him, He has enough to do". I don't know where I ever got that thinking, but it's wrong. He wants a relationship with me, at all times. There is something about going through hard times that drives us to our knees. We are thankful for these times because it brings us back to the One who loves us most. It forces us to focus on Him and what He can do and not on what we can't. I have struggled tremendously this last week with what the future holds and where God wants us to be. I feel the waves coming and fear starts to creap in. Do I brace myself and fight the current, or do I just allow the water to crash over us and pray we float to the top long enough to breathe? Is God going to calm the storm before it cranks up another notch, or is He going to allow this turmoil to continue? What is He trying to show us through this, and is He even hearing our prayers? I don't have the answers yet, but I know the One who does. I will say one thing, as unnerving as these past few months have been, I have had tremendous peace this last week, simply because I have spent more time with Him. I have seen him answer prayer for others, and I have faith that our prayers are going to be answered as well. There is one thing though about watching a massive storm roll, it makes you secure the things that are most valuable to you.