Friday, April 8, 2016

Comparison

Summers for us, for as long as we have had our boys, have been unscheduled, unrushed, and pure bliss.  When the boys were little, every day seemed like summer.  No school, no homework.  I loved being able to walk them in their stroller up to the grocery store or the park.  As they grew older, and preschool, then “real” school started, I coveted our summers.  Being able to sleep in and stay in our pajamas some days was the goal.  And I loved it!

But one summer, I noticed a lot of my friends had activities planned for their kids.  Not just a few things; it seemed like every week they scheduled camps and sports and church activities for their kids.  Their summers seemed just as busy as the rest of their year.  I started to think, “maybe my kids are missing out”.  I thought that maybe I should take these summer months to broaden their horizons or find a new passion for them the way my friends were doing.

Because I was so late in realizing I was the only mom in the world who hadn’t scheduled out my children’s summer, there wasn’t much left to choose from.  The only camp I could find was an art camp for my younger son and a sports camp for my older one.  So, off we trekked to broaden horizons and learn a new craft.  My boys spent this week in their camp and didn’t complain a whole lot.  I came home each day and got stuff done, but each day I missed them and wished they were home goofing off.  Nothing I did felt right. 

You see, I didn’t look at my kids and wonder what I would want for them.  What they might want to do.  I didn’t step back and pray about what our summer needed to look like.  I looked at what everyone else was doing and followed along.  It was stupid.

IMG_2701Jason made this craft that week, and I keep it out on the bookshelf for two reasons:  1) this day camp cost me $200 and this is all I have to show for it and 2) as a reminder that I am their only mom.  I am the only mom God entrusted with these two boys to teach them about His love and grace and how to depend on Him.  If camps and activities are to be a part of their summers, then it’s up to me to make that decision.  What my friends do with their kids is up to them.   I make a lot of mistakes.  A LOT.  But I am always reminded of that week every spring when it’s time to register for camps and such.  Now, we do camps; don’t get me wrong.  My oldest has gone on mission trips, and my youngest does church and sport camps.  It’s not that we don’t do these things. But we do them because we want to, or because we think it’s in the best interest of our boys.  Not because everyone else is doing it.

I still catch myself comparing.  It’s easy to do, and there are lots of people seemingly doing life better than me to compare myself to.  What I have learned as my boys get older is that there will always be someone who is better at Math or golf or baseball, or whatever, than your kid.  Teaching them to be the best that God created them to be is the goal.  And giving myself a whole lot of grace for when we do a stupid art camp is another.

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