Time Flies!

We sat behind a sweet couple in church Sunday that we have know for a long time.  The husband taught David in Sunday School when he was a toddler - or should I say - held him in Sunday School while he cried!  He always talks to David and asks how he is doing.  This Sunday he asked David what grade he was in - and the look on his face was priceless when David said "5th grade".  He couldn't believe it, and then he looked at me for affirmation, like somehow it was impossible that the little boy who cried on his lap for 2 straight years is now in his last year of Elementary School.  I have had no less than 3 people say to me in the last few days "David is in 5th grade?  No way!"  It's hard for me to believe that he is in 5th grade myself.  Time really has flown by.

There is something about having one child beginning Elementary School and one child ending this year that has made me appreciate this milestone in our family.  I know that Middle School changes everything, so I am appreciating each moment of growth we have with David this year.  It also has been a time of reflection for me.  Have we taught him to be responsible?  Has he learned the skills needed to succeed in school without me checking on him?  I have always been proud of David.  He picks good friends, is thoughtful and kind, and still likes to hang out with us - his parents.  For that, I am truly grateful.  I know before long I'll be sending him off to college, but for now I'm thankful the thing he looks forward to most is watching Star Wars on Friday night with his family.  And to be honest, it's the one thing I look forward to most as well.

Opening Day of Flag Football!

Today was opening day for David's flag football fall season!  We had to play a double-header beginning at 9 a.m.  The weather was beautiful - cloudy and breezy - and awesome break from the oppressive heat we have been enduring.  David and his best friend from Kindergarten, Keegan, always do a fall sport together.  The are the best of friends and the best of teammates - they always have each other's back.  David quarterbacked most of both games and we won both!  He made some awesome throws and even intercepted a pass and ran the entire length of the field for a touchdown!  He scored another touchdown and Keegan ran - and that kid can run - for several touchdowns for our team and intercepted a pass for a length-of-the-field touchdown himself!  It was an awesome beginning to another great season!  Afterward the kids got to jump in the bouncy houses and grab some snacks.  Both grandparents were there as well.  It was a really special day!

Grace and accountability

We have had a contractor at our house the last few days working on our chimney.  In the process of what he is fixing, he has managed to leave tools and debris all over our yard, damage our gutters and ruin a piece of brand new patio furniture on our deck.  My husband extends a lot of grace to people, but this one has irked him.  In addition to what we are paying our contractor, we are now going to have to buy a new chair and pay to fix our gutters.  After much thought and debate with me, he decided to deduct the cost of the chair from what we are paying him. It's not that I didn't agree that something needed to be done, but I was unsure what to do.  Where exactly is the line between forgiveness of a mistake and holding someone accountable?

I posed this question to David yesterday.  "What would you do if you were Daddy" I asked him. What surprised me were the questions he asked before he answered - how much are we paying the contractor, how much did the chairs cost, is Dad going to have to replace the gutters, how bad is the damage?  All these were thoughtful questions and I was proud of him.  But then I related it to what he is going through in 5th grade.  They work off the check system - you forget a book in your locker, you get a check mark.  You forget a paper at home, you get a check mark, etc.  All these checks are then reported to the parents at the end of the week.  "What if you forgot your Science book in your locker and the teacher decided to extend some grace and not give you a check?"  "Yeah right" was his answer.  "I wish" he said.  "But what if they did that and you continued to forget your Science book, day after day, disrupting the class and delaying the lesson?  Do you think you would ever learn to remember your book if you didn't pay a price" I asked.  "Probably not" he responded.

God did the same thing for us.  Jesus paid the ultimate price for our mistakes, but we have a responsibility to accept what he did, or not.

Back to the contractor situation.  My husband never ceases to amaze me in his optimism for people and their ability to change.  He truly wanted our contractor to learn from this mistake.  He told me that if the contractor is doing this here at our house, most likely he is doing this at every job and he is going to lose money.  He wanted him to get better, so he had a heart to heart with him after the job was done. He told him he was deducting the amount of the chair from the total, but gave him some constructive criticism to help him get better.  I was very proud of my husband, and the contractor was apologetic and took it very well.  Rick wants to give him more work, but wants him to get better so he can hire him again.

Grace, it's such a beautiful thing when used in a loving way.  So is accountability.  We can learn so much by practicing both.

Busy, busy, busy

If there is one common theme I am hearing from everyone lately is how "busy" they are.  They are busy, their kids are busy, their lives are just BUSY.  I ran into a friend of mine the other day and when I asked how she was, her response was this "Oh, we have just been so busy.  Our oldest is playing soccer, and both girls are doing karate 3 times a week and then I just signed them all up to do gymnastics - I don't know what I was thinking!  Oh, well, I'd rather they be busy than be bored."  I hear stories like this every day.  It made me tired just to hear all her kids were doing, but then I thought "what's wrong with being bored?"

Whenever I hear people say how busy they are, it always makes me wonder why, especially when it comes to our children.  We, as parents, control what they do and what they sign up for.  If I spend my summers running my kids around as much as I do in the fall, it's not summer.  I appreciate parents who want to expose their kids to camps and clinics during the summer - but every week?  Whatever happened to summers filled with sleeping in and playing in the yard and using our imagination?   During school, school is a priority.  If extra-curricular activities get in the way of school and family time, they are eliminated from our schedule.

There was a time in my life when I was busy.  Newly married, trying to start a business and make ends meet.  We were busy.  But we also missed out on a lot.  During that busy time I missed the final years of my dad's life.  But then after he died I became busy for a whole new set of reasons.  He was gone and I didn't want to have to think about it - so I stayed busy.  I was too busy to help my mom with the yard sale when she was moving out of their house.  Too busy to be there for my brother.  Too busy to go to church so I didn't have to face the One I was angry with.  Being busy gave me an excuse to delay things I just didn't want to have to deal with at the moment.

So whenever I hear how busy people are, I always wonder which of these categories they are falling into - busy because life is just that way, or because you are making life that way.  For most, it's the latter.  Oh sure, there are cases when families are busy because they are struggling to make ends meet and raise a family.  I get that.  But those families don't ever SAY they are busy.  They just are.  It's those that feel the need spend 15 minutes telling me all the things they are doing when I didn't even ask; those that are too busy to see some family, but see others every week; the ones that are too busy to help at church or school but have time to do other things.  Those are the people that make me wonder if busyness is just an excuse for something deeper going on.  It makes me wonder because I've been there and I know what it looks like.

Back to School!

Today was the first day of school for my 5th grader (choke!) and my little Kindergartener.  Never in my deepest prayers could I have imagined this day going so great!  David was actually looking forward to going back, and Jason was climbing the walls this morning with excitement (and he is not an early riser!). 

He was so excited to be able to wear what big brother was wearing, and to finally be at the same school.  It was so sweet for all of us to be able to walk in together.  Jason found his cubby and hung up his bookbag.  He then found his seat and said "hey" to all his friends.  We said our goodbye's (right after Jason said he was going to break my camera if I took any more pictures!).

Then it was upstairs to David's room.  They switch classes in 5th grade, but they do have a home room.  He found his spot and settled in - he was very happy to have a lot of his buddies in his class.

I can't begin to say what Carmel Christian School has meant to our family.  To have both of my children so happy on the first day of school is a testament to what they do there.  It is home to them and for that, Rick and I are so grateful.

As we do every year, Rick and I gathered with lots of other parents in the parking lot outside our school and prayed.  It was such a beautiful experience to hear God's name lifted up in praise and worship - I held it together until then but then the tears started to flow.

I am so grateful to God for giving me my sons.  They are each unique in their own way and today I am so proud of them.  After picking them both up, Jason said "I think this is going to be my best year yet!"  and David was so happy and had lots of great stories to tell.  It is going to be an amazing year!

Marry the right person

Rick and I have been together for 24 years - married for 18.  He looked at me the other day and said "can you believe you met me just 6 short years from David's age now"?  Gulp..  I have thought about that a lot as our oldest child creeps up in age, and if I would want him to marry someone he meets when he is just 16 years old.  My initial reaction is - no.  But then I look at Rick and how blessed I have been to have him in my life all these years.  There is no doubt in my mind I married the person God intended for me.  There is no doubt in my mind that if God plans for David, or Jason, to meet their spouse at an early age, that it would work for them as well.  The key to any marriage is first - marry the right person.  You can read all the books, see all the counselors, and watch all the Dr. Phil's you want to help your marriage, but if you have married the wrong person it will not matter.

It's not to say that things have always been perfect in our marriage - they haven't.  We have had some bumps in the road that felt like we would never crawl out of.  But we have.  As God has gone before us, he has led us through the deep valleys up to the high mountain tops again.  It's trusting through the rough times that they will get better, and that you are working on it together.

I appreciate my husband so much.  It's not just the huge things he does for our family - and he does a LOT of huge things.  He works hard to run his companies in a way that honors God.  He manages his employees in a way that has created a loyalty to him that brings tears to my eyes.  His employees truly enjoy having him as a boss.  He also tries to honor his mother and father, and goes out of his way to look after my mother, especially after my father passed away.

But he also does a lot of little things.  I remember when David was just starting to walk and we lived in a one story ranch house.  He was worried David would wake up and not be able to find our bedroom, so he bought nightlights to put around the house.  He has done that in every house we have had since.  He wants his boys, and me, to be able to find their way in the dark.  Even when we moved here, my shelf in my laundry room had a place so you can hang clothes to dry.  The wire, however, was slotted, not straight, so you couldn't slide your clothes around.  I noticed it every time I hung clothes to dry, but it's not like it was a big deal and I didn't say anything about it - I was happy to have a beautiful laundry room!  One day, without telling me, Rick measured the shelf, went to Lowe's and cut a new one.  He installed it and then told me that it was bugging him that the shelf wasn't right for me to hang clothes.

Today I am especially thankful for Rick.  I am noticing all the big, and small things he does to make our family function better, and make my life easier.  There should be another word stronger than "blessed".  Because I feel more than blessed today because I married the right person.

Bowling!

This weekend we took time to do something Rick loves to do - BOWL!  He was on the bowling team at Carolina and is still a really good bowler.  I remember when we were dating many a day sitting in a bowling alley watching him bowl.  It brought back lot of great memories and the kids had a great time.  (The bumpers helped that - I don't think they would have hit a single pin without them!)  I did pretty well, if I do say so myself!  It's amazing how expensive it is now - thankfully the kids were able to bowl free through the AMF summer program.  It was a lot of fun - and I wasn't too sore the next day either!

Jason waiting his turn.

I laughed at Jason when he was bowling.  Every time he threw the ball, he'd turn and run back - not even looking to see how many pins he knocked down.  I was proud of both my boys with their bowling "etiquette".  They would stand and wait to make sure the person beside them was finished before they walked up to roll the ball.  Very sweet.  Jason actually got a couple strikes and a few spares and bowled over 100 - pretty amazing!  It was a very fun day!