A chore is just a chore, unless of course you're four!

My little Jase is a handful - I'll admit it. He's a cute handful, but nonetheless. Part of the reason is because he thinks he's 12. He wants to do everything his 8 year old brother can do - only better. On the way to church on Sunday he asked his father and I when he was going to start getting an allowance like big brother. After thinking about this for a while, we decided to give him a chore that is all his - catered to what he likes to do.......spray Windex. Now he still has other things to do that are expected, like pick up his things and carry his dish to the sink after supper, but my husband came up with a great chore for him. Every night he is to clean the bathroom sink with Windex and paper towels.

Last night was Day 1 of the chore. Wow was he excited! He sprayed and sprayed until he could spray no more. My oldest went in the bathroom to check on him and said "wow, it wreaks in here!" Jason was so proud of himself when he was done. He even sprayed the floor, toilet and mirror (oh joy!). I'm proud of him too. This morning he hollered at me on his way to the bathroom "Mom, I'm going to the bathroom! The CLEAN bathroom!"

Mary and Martha and Me

I'll be honest, I've had some long discussions with God about the whole Mary and Martha thing. Books have been read, studies have been done, and yet, this story has always irked me. Mary, as you remember, was the one who sat at Jesus' feet and listened while Martha was busy in the kitchen and irked. Martha finally gets worked up enough to say something to Jesus. "Lord, I'm in here doing all this work and Mary is doing nothing - ask her to help me!" Jesus responds "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Because I am a type-A, "get things done" kinda person, I obviously have strong feelings towards Martha. When I read this story in the Bible, I picture Mary sitting on the floor at the feet of Jesus, flowers in her hair, dressed in a long white gown (ironed by Martha) smiling - oblivious to her surroundings. Oblivious to what it takes to run a home, or do laundry, or be ready for such a guest as the Savior of the world. I read it and I'm upset. I mean, really, if all of us were like Mary nothing would get done! I picture Mary never worrying about anything because someone is always taking care of what should be her responsibility. Poor Martha - getting the shaft. "Sure you can sit there and listen to him" I see her saying to herself "because I'm in here doing all the work! Must be nice!" It's hard when you read the Bible at times to get a true picture of who a person is. Mary loved Jesus very much based on scripture ,and I am taking great liberty to picture her as a 60's flower girl (even though she does use perfume and wipe Jesus' feet with her hair). Nevertheless, I received new insight to this story on Saturday by Whitney Capps from Proverbs 31. In John 12 verse 2, a dinner is given in Jesus' honor and it reads "Martha served". I don't think this was just a little tidbit. I think it shows that Martha was still being Martha. While her sister was wiping Jesus' feet with her hair (being Mary), Martha is again doing what she does. Jesus didn't tell Martha to stop being herself. God created her and serving is part of her spiritual gifts that her heavenly Father gave her. Thank God for people like Martha! When Jesus said Mary had chosen what is better, he didn't tell her to never clean again; never cook again; never serve again. Jesus was there, in her presence, and yet she was busying herself with tasks. How many times am I missing out on being in the Lord's presence because of my task-oriented nature? How many times in teaching little children in Sunday School do I miss out on a "holy moment" because I am too busy preparing for the craft? How many times do I sit in church wondering where we are going for lunch instead of opening my heart to worship my Lord? Oh my goodness the times I have missed because I have chosen the wrong thing! So many times I say "be right with you Lord, just let me throw in this laundry first so it can be going while I talk to you. Oh, and let me get the dishwasher going so that can be finished when we're done. Well, let me grab this one call - it will only take a minute and then I'll be right with you." Yep, I'm a Martha alright! The best thing about this story though is found in John 11 verse 5. "Jesus loved Martha and her sister"....... Did you catch that? Jesus loved Martha. Jesus loved Martha! That verse has forever changed my thoughts on the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus loves me and my task-oriented self. He loves me when I make my list, and he loves me when my list goes unchecked. He loves me. How can I not want to spend time with Jesus? How can I continue to put all these meaningless tasks above being in the presence of someone who loves me this much? A Savior who loves me just as I am - with all my faults and sins. Yes, the laundry still needs to get done and lunches need to be packed - but only AFTER spending time with the only one who can change my whole day around. Thank you Lord for new insight to your word every day.

A baby shower!

Our church held a baby shower for local area moms this Saturday morning. Our Preschool Director did a fabulous job, as always, putting it all together. I had a lot of fun seeing old friends again and hanging out with all those pregnant gals.....and quite frankly, I was thankful not to be pregnant! Aren't these the cutest centerpieces you've ever seen?

Whitney Capps from Proverbs 31 Ministries spoke. She was great - I'll post more on that later.

Debbie read a great definition of a mother, which I will post later as well. Tons of prizes were given out: $50 Babies R Us gift card, MOPS membership, Dream Dinners, ceramic hand prints of your baby, and a Vera Bradley bag, just to name a few. Check out these fun games: The first was pick up the duck - on the bottom either "boy" or "girl" was written to find out if they are having a girl our boy.

The second one was disgusting! It's the "Guess the Poop" game. It's actually candy that is melted and put on diapers. Gross!

The third was funny, but disturbing! :) It's little plastic babies frozen in ice cubes. Each mom got a plastic cup with one ice cube. They could hold the cup in their hands or blow on it - but they were not allowed to touch it. First one who's baby was freed yelled "baby born!" and they won a prize. It was hysterical!

Each mom got a free lunch provided by our kitchen staff - yummy chicken salad on croissant, sesame sticks, fruit and dessert. Also, each mom got to go home with a gift- a diaper filled with goodies - book and cd and all sorts of fun stuff.

These ladies had a great time and hopefully came away with some biblical advice. I pray they also came away knowing that our church is there for them when needed, but most importantly, that God is there for them. You truly cannot be a mom without the help of Jesus. I am finding that out more and more each day. I always thought the newborn stage was hardest. It isn't; it's just different - each stage is. Thank God our church has been there for our family each step of the way. It was a great morning and I was so thankful to have been part of it.

Finding my identity in Christ

I remember it so well, the day my husband came home and made the suggestion we get a van. I was 6 months pregnant with our 2nd child, toting my 4 year old and 2 year old nephew around and my husband obviously guessed this comment would be a helpful suggestion....he guessed wrong. Nothing says you are a middle-aged, uncool woman like a 8 passenger mini-van. Nothing. I had no intentions of being "viewed" like that. I wanted to stay cool, stylish woman driving in my Lexus. I liked how good I felt driving around in it. But a little convincing from my husband to "at least look at it" and one test drive later, I was hooked. Do you know you can actually get an infant in his baby carrier out of a van without damaging your door or the car or garage wall next to you? Fabulous! My oldest could actually crawl into this van when I automatically opened the sliding door for him - again, fabulous! We are looking for a new home, and through this process, much like the van decision, I am digging deep to find where my identity lies. We have been asking ourselves "where do you see yourself living?". "Where do you see your family having fun times and enjoying your home?". As a mom and a wife, I can tell you most of my identity can easily be wrapped up in what my family is doing at any moment. If my child is throwing a fit in the doctor's office, my identity becomes "loser mom". If my child can't find his shoes, it turns to "unorganized mom". If my job calls me for an emergency, I quickly switch to "working mom". All of these roles play a part in what I do, but they are not who I am. So who am I? The bible teaches me that I am a child of God. "To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, not of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God" (John 1:12, 13). I am forgiven (Eph. 1:7). I am loved deeply (John 3:16). I am not alone (Heb. 13:5). What security we have in Jesus! As a Christian, my identity can not be of things of this world, it has to be in Him. The only way to know my true identity is to: 1) spend time in God's word. Know what he says I am - what the truth is; 2) pray and spend quiet time asking God to show me who I am - to see myself through his eyes; 3) as stresses and conflicts, decisions and triumphs arise during the day, turn them all over to the Lord. Seek his wisdom and take his guidance. These things do not define who I am. They shape me and test me; they hopefully make me a better person and force me to seek the Lord in truth - but they do not define who I am.

Happy Birthday Bro!

Today, St. Patrick's Day, is my brother's birthday. Poor guy - for his entire life his birthday has always been celebrated, not with the traditional primary colors for a birthday, but with GREEN! I seriously remember a leprechaun cake around the age of 5. That green dye didn't come out of his blond hair for weeks.

I truly appreciate having a brother like mine. He is married to a great girl, has 4 (yes 4) beautiful children, works, is active in his church, always there for others, and somehow manages to keep it all together and make it look easy. He's always been there for me; always supportive; and always ready to give me medical advice when summoned. So today, Matt, here's to you. Thanks for being the best brother a sister could ever have, or ever want to have. I love you!

Here's my little brother and our dad back, well, it was a long time ago!

My son likes a girl.....now what do I do?

Cry? Throw up? Cry? Cry? That's what I feel like doing. It all started a couple days ago. My 8 year old comes home and asks where the nail clippers are? "The nail clippers?" I ask. "Why do you need those?" With a look only a highly intelligent 8 year old can give his idiot mother, he says "because I want to clip my nails. They are dirty". Oh, ok, well that's normal for you I thought.......if hell is about to freeze over! He then proceeds to waltz his little hiney into our bathroom and clean out his nails. About an hour later he asks if he can take a shower........at this point I wanted to fall to my knees and beg God to give us a little more time. Surely Jesus was coming right at this very moment. This is the same kid who would go weeks without bathing unless I told him to, right? "Well sure you can take a shower honey" I respond trying hard not to look like I'm trying hard not cock my eyebrows in a way he will know that I know somethings up. Get all that? I told this to my husband, to which he had the same eyebrow raising reaction. "Do you think it's a girl" he asked? "Oh my heaven's no!" (Alright, for the 3 of you that read this and know I don't say oh my heavens, I'll confess I didn't use those exact words. But let's not split hairs during my life's greatest crisis, shall we? No way was my little man interested in a girl. No way. No how. Those other delinquent boys at our Christian school may have been talking girls since 1st grade, but not my little angel. But alas, my little world today has been shattered. My little man comes home and tells me his friend Danny likes Elise (names have been changed to protect the innocent). He proceeds to tell me how shocked he was that Danny likes this girl. "What's wrong with Elise?" I ask. "Nothing really, I'm just shocked he likes her" is his response. Then I, for whatever reason, ask the question that forever has changed my life. "Do you have any girls you like?" Why did I have to ask? Why couldn't I have just lived in this bubble a few days more? "Yes". And with that little word, my heart forever lays on the floor. "Well, who do you like?" is the only response I can muster. "Guess" he says. So I start naming off some of the girls I think would make good wife material. After a few "no's" and one "no way, she's too tall", we reach the object of my son's crush. I must admit he made a good choice. My husband's first response when I told him who the person is was "what does she look like?" Leave it to a man to respond that way. I mean really - he's eight for crying out loud, and so is she. But she is cute. Tonight as I ponder this change in our life, that annoying Nationwide commercial rings in my head. "Life comes at you fast". It sure does. Yesterday my little guy was playing Lego's and riding his bike; today, we're talking about girls. It's one of those moments in life that slap you in the face and say "wake up - pay attention - this won't last forever you know!" And yet, it also is one of those moments where I feel God standing behind me, hands on my shoulders, as he freezes a moment in time and says "hey, this is your son. I've only given him to you for a short while. Embrace these days. Take time to spend with him. Relish his innocence while he still has it. Teach him the path to walk on, and how to stay there. Make me a part of your family's day. Talk to him about me. For the next time I freeze a moment for you, he'll be a man." My goodness how quickly time goes by. We do only have these precious ones for a little while. I just pray that amidst the ball games and swimming lessons; school and church activities; friends and playdates, that we are loving him in a way that he will always want to come back to; encouraging him in a way that builds his self-esteem; teaching him the love God has for him. I pray we always keep our eye on the man we want him to become, and that God gives us wisdom for each day......and that tomorrow we can go back to talking about Lego's.

Adapt to Change - 0

Years ago, BC (before children), I worked at a large bank in town. Every year we would have our annual review, which consisted of the usual laundry list of items you are ranked from 0-5 in (0 being the lowest rank, 5 being the highest), as well as several areas for written criticism or praise. I worked for a lady who happened to like me - good for me. My friend, however, was not so fortunate. I will never forget after my friend had her review. It was a scathing one, to say the least, but I will never forget one thing that really irked her. One of the categories we were ranked on was "adapt to change". She showed me her review and next to this category was a big, fat zero. "A zero!" she exclaimed. "What in the world is that supposed to mean! I can't adapt AT ALL to change? That's total crap!" Words were changed and this has been summarized to protect the innocent. This review hurt my friend a lot, but over the years it has become a joke between us. If she's not liking something I will tell her "you need to adapt to change". Or if she's upset over something she'll quip "well, you know, I DID get a zero on adapt to change..." The truth be known, if I were to get this review today I would probably get a zero as well. Things in my life are changing around me - family, housing, church. Some of these things I can't control, and that upsets me. I am a control freak by nature, so when I see changes going on at my church, I want to say "hey wait, you didn't ask for my opinion!". When I see my children caring less and less about what I think about something, I want to scream " You have to listen to me, I gave birth to you, see the scar!" Some of the things in my life I can control, but I worry about the decision. Is this the right time to buy a house? Should we tighten our finances even further? The truth of the matter is, change is constant. Whether you have control over it or not, it's going to happen. You can't always control what happens around you - job loss, children's actions (God knows that's true!), school or church decisions, but you can control how you are going to respond. Am I going to hold on to the security of what is safe - what I am used to? Am I going to kick and scream like a child that I am not getting my way - how could the Lord do this to us? Or am I going to trust the Lord and pray for his wisdom and guidance for myself and those around me? I admit, I fail so many times in this area. Sometimes my pride gets in the way and my first reaction is to get upset or panic. I have always resisted change. But in all honesty, the changes that the Lord has allowed in my life have always been for my benefit. As hard as they were to deal with, I wouldn't give anything in the world for the impact they made on my life. God is like that you know. He's not as concerned about our comfort level as he is our relationship with Him. Rarely do we grow without moving or being challenged in some way. Rarely are we on our knees more than when we feel the greatest need for him during times of uncertainty. So to these changes that are happening in my life, I pray that I will be ready. I know who holds the future and I trust him. I know he will guide me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. I pray he will forgive me for my heart not being right; for resisting change; for being pessimistic and negative instead of positive and joyful. May the Lord continue to guide me, and those around me, through these decisions. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8