Joy or Happiness?

I have had so many things bring me happiness throughout my life, and several things that brought me great joy. It amazes to this day that I can still mistake one for the other. I was reminded of that as we were in the process of trying to decide on a house this weekend. We've been living in an apartment for the last 7 months, and it's been wonderful! Our friends don't believe us. It is kind of hard to imagine being happy in a one thousand square foot apartment after living in a four thousand square foot dream home, but we are. I've taken the whole "be content in whatever circumstances" thing to heart these last few months. Anyway, we found a house after just looking around one day. It was perfect floor plan, the perfect area, the perfect yard, the perfect kitchen....perfect. Have I said how "perfect" it was? I was giddy. So was my husband (as much as man can be anyway). Yet, as we drew closer to having to make a final decision, we couldn't get comfortable. We didn't have peace about it. Yes the economy is sagging and yes, we're never sure about the future, but that wasn't it. We kept trying to convince ourselves we this was right - it was the "perfect" house for crying out loud! How were we going to find a house like this again? Then my husband reminded me that the house wasn't going to make us happy. I knew this, of course, after living in our last house, but it still set me back when he said it. I was, even after having our "dream home" and it not fulfilling me, looking at that house thinking this time was going to be different. Our houses can be vessels for the things that bring us joy - but the house itself is not. I have learned after living in this apartment, that it doesn't matter what my house looks like - whether I have granite on the counter tops or stainless steel appliances in my kitchen; whether my yard is large and full of trees and my neighbors are all loving and helpful. No, what matters is following the Lord's will. Can the Lord grant me all of those things - of course! But will they fulfill me? No. Not one bit. Does God really care what house we live in? I don't think so. He cares about our character. He cares about our obedience. We have turned down the chance to buy the house. For whatever reason, we don't have peace about that house right now. That peace is what brings me the most joy. Going against that peace is like swimming against the current. You will work and work and work and never get it. You can't buy this peace, food won't bring you this peace. Only God can grant this peace. His peace is guiding us right now. He knows the future and I trust him. I trust that he will guide is each day. That's my joy.

The election and "God"

I think back to the previous presidential elections and I was so geared up; so nervous. I would stay up until all hours of the night watching the returns. This year has been different. I've been strangely emotionally removed from this year's election process. Maybe it's because of all the nasty accusations and relentless advertising. Maybe it's because deep in my mind I knew how it would turn out. Maybe it's because, for the first time, I just didn't know what to vote for anymore. Being the good white Christian that I am, I have always voted Republican. Without question. But after watching "my" party the last 4 years make grievous mistakes, I started questioning what "they" believed in. Does the Republican party represent me or just a part of me? And why is abortion the one issue that ranks at the top? What about war? What about financial responsibility? I am not just anti-abortion, against raising taxes, and against hand-outs to those who refuse to work. Weeks before I went to vote, I printed off the sample ballot for my district. I then went through each candidates website from President to Commissioner of Agriculture to District Court Judges. I spent time seeing who was most like me; who I would want to represent me. I was saddened by the results. This election, for me, was the lesser of two evils. For the first time it wasn't about who represented me the best, whose values and voting record would closely match my own - because I couldn't find one. No. This year was more trying to pick the person whose values were the furthest from mine and voting against that. Candidates from the Republican and Democratic party all came up short.

The God of both parties? I watched last night as predominately African-American churches were singing and praying and holding vigils for Barack Obama to be president. For the Lord to hear their prayers. I watched last night as predominately white churches did the same for John McCain. One African-American woman, after Obama was elected president, stated "this is the day the Lord has made!" And from all the emails I have been sent today, you would think that Jesus Christ himself was coming back tomorrow because of this election result alone. How is it possible we are praying to the same God? How is it possible that Republicans believe their prayers weren't answered but "God is still in control" and Democrats believe their prayers were answered and "God is still on his throne". Is this what it has come to? And what does this rhetoric say to the unbeliever? If I didn't believe in God and I saw all this mess, I wouldn't want to believe in Him. I couldn't help but watch and think of my Savior and wonder what He thought.

If African-Americans believe God answered their prayers because a black man was elected President they should be ashamed. If white Americans believe God answered our prayers 4 years ago because George Bush was elected president then we should be ashamed. Jesus taught us how to pray - and no where in that prayer was "oh Jesus, please let the Republican party win!". My son last night was saying his prayers. He knew the election results were coming in and he was strongly in favor of McCain (as much as you can be for 8 years old). When he started his prayer, I knew he would pray like any 8 year old would "Lord, please let John McCain win". I mean after all, he doesn't have the maturity to pray anything greater than that right? He surprised me. His prayer was simple. "Lord, whoever gets to be President, help him make the right decisions. Help him make good decisions. Amen." Amen indeed.

Halloween

We had a great time trick or treating with our friends this past Friday. Even though Rick and I were sick, and it was cold, we toughed it out so our children could get a ridiculous amount of candy! It was worth it. Here is a picture of my son (second from left) and his pals. I must say, he was one of about 50 storm troopers!

Here's out little Jason - the white and hold storm trooper with his mask on top of his head. He kept up with his big brother and big brother's friends all night. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. He didn't miss a single house!

This was one of the more "elaborate" houses in the neighborhood. Complete with graveyard, masked man with a chainsaw, mechanical half-person crawling on the driveway and a grim reaper on stilts! He stayed there until the last trick or treater left - it was a scary sight at night. I wonder what their house will look like at Christmas?

I'll be honest...I'm glad this "holiday" is over.

Fall Party Week

Last week I was very busy with class fall parties for both our boys. We had great fun and somehow I got put in charge of the craft for both parties! Here are some pictures:

David's party was a lot of fun. The craft was a little hard - tissue paper mache votive holders. The children loved dipping apples in the caramel and decorating them with sprinkles. The craft turned out well. They are such a sweet class.

Jason's party was a lot of fun. I went the day before and took pictures of all the children, and then they decorated frames with stickers. They are a sweet class too. Thanks for my friends Christy and Nancy for the craft idea! I went from a plain wood frame for 80 cents at A.C. Moore (thanks to an awesome 20% off entire purchase coupon!), to this:

I can't complain. The boys helped me paint all 15 frames black, I put the pictures in, got foam stickers for their names and let them decorate it with them - along with some other fall type stickers. (I wrote the 2008 at the bottom with a gold paint pen). The kids had a great time decorating them and the moms loved them. I was so excited they turned out this great!

Our first "Time Out"

My little boy came home from school last week, was barely out of my friend's van and confessed "I got put in time out today Mom." I must admit, this is a first for us. He gets put in time out many times here at home, but never have my boys been put in time out at school. Leave it to Jason to crash through that barrier! As I was asking him in my non-threatening, non-I'm going to die voice about what happened, he insisted he didn't know. He just kept shrugging his shoulders and saying "I don't know what I did". Yeah, right. So I asked him to tell me where he was when he got put in time out. He said he was standing in line talking to Zachary. Well, there you go. I asked him if he was supposed to talk in line and he said "I guess not, because that's why I got put in time out. But Zachary kept talking and I couldn't hear the teacher, so I didn't know we were not supposed to talk". Of course the next time we went to school, I asked his teachers about it. I really just wanted to make sure he understood what he did. His teacher got this sad little look on her face and said "Oh Sherri. I absolutely hated to put him in time out. You know how much I LOVE him. But since he and Zachary were both talking, I had to put them both in." Of course I understood this and wasn't questioning her decision at all, but her reaction to me was comical. To be honest, I'm surprised it hasn't happened before now. I mean, the kid is in constant trouble here at home! Anyway, I had to mark this day. I hope this isn't the start of things to come!

Happy 40th Rick!

My dear husband turns 40 today! We'll be spreading the celebration out over 2 weeks with dinners and nights out and as usual, I am struggling with what to get the man who "has everything he wants" (according to him). Still - 40 - I have to get him something good! I am so thankful to have him in my life. He has been my best friend for 22 years and the best father our boys could ever wish for. He actually is having lunch with David at school today and playing football on the playground with the boys at recess. That is where he wanted to spend his birthday lunch! How awesome is that? Happy Birthday Rick. I thank God every day for you and all you mean to me.

A bloggy slump

I haven't blogged in a while. I'm of the mind set that if you don't have something good to say (or funny), don't bother. So, I haven't. Still don't have a whole lot to say. Been busy trying to keep up with all the BSF homework, 3rd grade homework, and holding the boundaries with my 4 year old. Oh, yeah, my husband turns 40 this week!!! I'll be posting more on that later. I did have lunch with a friend last week that got me thinking. She, like me, does a lot of service for our church. I am taking this year to refocus and reconnect with my Lord. She does a great job of balancing it all, but she did make one comment to me that struck me. She's struggling with trying to cut back and turn stuff over to other people. But, in her words, she finds it's just easier to do it herself. I can relate. It is easier, on the front end, to just keep doing what you are doing and keep serving in the way you've served. The only drawback to that is, someone else misses out on the blessing. Yes, it might be easier to do it yourself, but what if we took that approach with our children? It's easier for me to tie my boys shoes instead of nagging them to do it, but they still have to learn to do it. And where is their sense of accomplishment if I always do it? This conversation struck me because I am like her. It IS easier for me to do it (that's my type A coming out). Looking back, turning over my service duties to someone else was hard. VERY hard. But someone else is being blessed by it now. Looking back, I am grateful boundaries were set that only allowed me to do 2 years of service in a certain area. I miss it like having a child go off to college that never calls. But God is allowing that void to be left empty for a while so He, and only He can fill it. Not service, not stuff, just Him. Wow, that's been different! But good. I look forward to seeing what God will do in my life, and hers.