ROCKY, age 3

My poor little Jace. After falling 3 times in the mountains this weekend, this is the end result. Believe it or not, he looks better today than yesterday. Big bruise on the forehead, swollen eyes, cut lip and banged up nose. The pediatrician said he is fine, but the black and blue eyes are only going to get worse. Thank God he is ok, though, and he is certainly acting like his normal chipper self! Mommy, however, is still dealing with guilt.

"Expect Delays"

We took a drive up to the mountains this weekend to escape the 100+ degree weather. The roads leading there are basically being redone and it will be wonderful once they are finished....if I am still alive by then. On the way home, there were signs along the highway - obvious signs of road construction. But the one that got my attention was the one that said "Expect Delays". Here it was, in big bold letters on an orange sign telling me to prepare myself. I wondered the point of this sign - was it so anyone who wasn't ready to sit in traffic could find another way? Or was there another reason? I had this mental image in my mind of people sitting in long hours of traffic and yelling out their window at the construction workers because of it, and then the men working yelling back -"no, no, no, we told you back about a mile to expect this....don't be yelling at us". It struck me as funny then, but as we drove I noticed that I was "expecting delays". I was waiting for that traffic jam around the next bend. It didn't cause me to be anxious - quite the opposite. I was better prepared for it. The delays didn't happen; thankfully we left at a good time. But I kept wondering how wonderful it would be if I would "expect delays" in other areas of my life. I know my patience level would be much higher. I need an "expect delays" sign as we start to leave the house....to go anywhere.....any time of day. Expect that my 3 year old will have to go to the bathroom; expect that my 7 year old won't be able to find his shoes. What about an "expect delays" sign anytime we eat? Someone always has to go to the bathroom the minute the food arrives (and why is that really!?) I also should "expect delays" in answers to prayer at times. It's not about my timing, it's about His. I want it now, I want to know the answer now. The flip side of that is to "Expect God". Expect that He is coming; expect that the answer is just right around the corner; expect that the blessing is just up over the hill. Expectancy can be a true gift, if you are expecting the best from a loving God.

Just for Fun Friday

Ok, it's not Friday yet, but we're going out of town so I am doing it a little early! All the boys (mine and my brothers), minus baby Conley! Love the ice cream at the ball park! The beautiful homes at Stonegrove in southwest Charlotte. My husband and his team have worked hard on this project - and it shows.

Mommy are you happy?

My 3 year old has been asking me this lately. Every day "Mommy, are you happy?" DH and I have been trying to figure out where he got it from. He also asks how my day is and if he can shake my hand (I think this all stems from him watching his daddy). But I can tell you this, when he looks up at me with that sweet face of his and in his tiny voice asks "Are you happy today Mommy"? How could I not be!

The sluggard in me

We had the great privilege of hearing my brother speak at his church this Sunday. The pastor of West Cabarrus Church in Concord was doing a wonderful series on wellness. This Sunday was about our physical health. Since this is my brothers area of expertise, the pastor asked him to speak for a few minutes and I must admit, I don't know that I have ever been more proud of him. He did a fantastic job and so much of what he and the pastor said that day resonated with me throughout this week. I never would have considered myself lazy. I work part time for an investment company, handle all the office work for my husband's cleaning business, coordinate a MOPS program at church, lead a neighborhood bible study, and, oh yeah, raise 2 kids under the age of 7 and try to squeeze in time to be a wife to my wonderful husband. But something the pastor said that day hit me. He referenced Proverbs 22:13 where they sluggard says "there is a lion outside, I will be murdered in the streets". Now, I remember very well a lot of scripture regarding sluggards, but this wasn't one of them. The pastor related it to himself as he makes excuses not to walk every day. "I can't walk tonight, there might be a rabid squirrel out there!" was one example he gave in referencing the scripture. I have thought long and hard about that. How many times I say to myself, "it's too hot to run" or "it's too late" or "I'll do it tomorrow". Literally I saw a racoon one night and that kept me in for the next few days! How many times I've been angry at my husband for not getting home on time for me to go out, when in reality it was my choice not to go run by the time he got home. So last night, after dinner, I ran. I was tired, I was full from dinner and just wanted to veg out and watch a movie with the kids before bedtime, but I went. Normally I don't run at night, but I remembered what that pastor said and what my brother said - where is my thought process when it comes to my health? I realize now that my thought process about excersize and my health has to change. It has to start somewhere, and last night it started for me.

Surrender

Several years ago my husband and I took the Crown Financial study course at our church. It helped us in many areas, but the one thing I remember most about that course when it comes to our finances is this - none of it is ours. God has given us the responsibility to be good stewards of the gifts he has given us, but they are His. This applies to all things: the house, the car, the colorless den furniture I regret buying. It also applies to my husband, my children...me. I remember at one point during that course we were to acknowledge that all these things are from the Lord and are His. We were to do it in whatever way we chose. I decided the only way I could do it was to walk around my house, lay my hands on "my" possessions, and say "Lord, this home is yours. Thank you for blessing us with it. May you use your house to bring you glory". I did pretty good until I got to my kids who were peacefully sleeping upstairs. To lay your hands on your child and give him or her to the Lord, and I mean completely, was hard for me. It was the beginning of realizing how little I trusted the One who loved me most. The Lord has kept me on my knees more in the last month than I can ever recall. But through it, He is showing me that He can be trusted. Last week I was struggling with how to pray. The balance between praying for what I want, what I believe is His will, versus asking for His will to be done even if that contradicts what I am asking, is difficult. There are times in my life I have prayed so fervently for things and God has graciously answered my prayers. But then there are other times when I have prayed fervently, wasn't getting any answers, and then conceded to pray for His will. There was one time in my life when conceding to His will devastated me. My prayer life has never been the same. Hence, I have a hard time letting go - relinquishing my will for His. There are some bumps coming in the road and I can see them. I try not to be frightened, for I know He will meet our needs. Yet, I don't like change. No, actually, I hate change. I don't want my lifestyle to change, and hopefully it won't. But the Lord is teaching me to pray for his perfect will. That the plan He laid out for me before I was born to come to fruition. I personally am a big fan of his permissive will instead - the one where He answers our prayers because it's what we want and because He loves us so much. There have been times in my life the Lord has allowed things that I know weren't in His perfect plan for me. I'm tired of having 2nd or 3rd best though, I want THE best, the perfect plan for my life and those of my family. The only way to have that is to pray for His will to be done in my life - and then listen to what He is telling me. Ok Lord, I'm listening, and surrendering all this "stuff" that is yours anyway. You can do what you want with me.

The things we want that cause us pain

With the first day of school just around the corner, we went shopping the other day for new shoes for my 7 year old. Upon arriving at the store, he found a pair he absolutely had to have. Thankfully they were on clearance, but I wasn't too sure about how well made they were. The salesman's attempt to convince me they were good by telling me they were one of the most popular shoes they have did not appease my concern. Thankfully my husband arrived, and upon further examination he didn't feel good about it either. Here is the problem we come up against with our children. When do we let them decide and live with the consequences, and when do we over-rule them? I am big on over-ruling at this point. He's only 7. But he really wanted them, they fit, and were on clearance, so against our better judgement we let him get them. He was thrilled. Until the next day. After wearing them for less than 24 hours, I noticed he was taking them off. He said they made his feet itchy. What he was actually scratching were blisters that were starting to form. Needless to say I was miffed. I told him if they were going to continue to hurt his feet, he wasn't going to be able to wear them. Of course he started to cry and said how much he loved them, and tried to convince me his feet were only itchy. This became a great opportunity for a life lesson and I'm glad I took the time to hear the Lord on this one. I lovingly tried to explain to my son that although he loves his new shoes very much, after a few days and maybe weeks of wearing them and having them hurt his feet, he will not love them quite as much. He disagreed. I reminded him of a friend he had that he wanted to play with so badly every day, and every day he would play with him and that friend would hurt his feelings. This "friend" would put him down, or just downright say he didn't want to play with him that day. He would come in crying or upset and I would always tell him he had a choice. It was up to him if he wanted to have a "friend" like that who was going to treat him so badly. After a while, my son stopped playing with him. God will allow us to do the same. He will let us make bad choices, knowing full well we are going to get hurt, but hopefully through the pain we will learn the lesson. We allowed our son to get these shoes, and in the end it probably isn't going to be a happy ending for him. He will get another pair of shoes that will fit well and he'll move on. But I hope that through this he will always remember that he has a choice, whether it be in relationships or monetary things. If you want something so badly, but it is causing you that much pain or turmoil, look to the Father for answers first, but it just may be time to let it go.