Lessons while running

I've started running. Not something I particularly enjoy doing, but one of my closest friends and I are training for a 5k together, and well, I need to lose a few pounds. There is a trail that runs through our neighborhood and runs behind our house - behind a lot of people's houses actually. I walk some and then run some, it's a whole training program which you can find on my sidebar. I run the same path every time I run, and I have noticed that many of my neighbors are adding on to their houses. Let me just say here that we live in a fairly new neighborhood and most homes are big enough not to need "adding on to". As I was running I kept wondering when is enough "enough"? Are people adding on because they need to, or is it because their neighbor is doing it and they thought "great idea! I think we need that"? I don't judge any of my neighbors, I make this observation for myself and me alone. I remember when we lived in our first starter home. DH and I hardly had any money, but we wanted to invest in a glass front door so we can see the front yard during the day. I remember getting that front door, and how happy it made me, and how nice it looked. It was a temporal, worldy thing, but yet, it made me happy. I also remember my disdain when just about 3 weeks later, my neighbor across the street got one just like it - glass etching and all. Of all the doors to buy, I thought, why the one JUST LIKE OURS. Within a few months, several of our neighbors had glass doors similar to ours. In Dennis Miller's book "Searching for God Knows What" he describes, hypothetically, about an alien landing on our planet and having to report back to it's leader about what humans are like. He goes on describing how the alien reports back that humans are always comparing themselves to others: What they look like, what they are driving, what they are living in. How odd it is to the alien that we are doing this. How great my sin can be in this area. I am part of a neighborhood bible study, and we used to only meet at my house, and then other girls offered their homes up to meet there as well. I love these girls with all of my heart and I have learned so much from them. But I remember going into several of these girls homes and seeing how beautifully decorated they were, and then coming back to my home and going "yuck" or something profound like that. Why do I compare myself, my house, my children, my spouse, my gifts (or lack thereof) to others? God tells us test our own actions and then we can take pride in ourselves without comparing to one another. (Galatians) Paul tells the Corinthians in the 1st book, Chapter 12, that we each have different gifts and God uses each of us with what he has given us. Why isn't that sufficient enough for me? This last year has been very dark for me; so much so that it wasn't until I started seeing the light and it blinded me that I realized how dark I had been. God is teaching me, as always. He has been teaching me through my low, if not non-existent self-esteem, that He loves me. That He created me this way. That I need Him. I have been focusing so hard this last year on my weaknesses and how I need to improve them, that I have lost sight of the great gifts He has given me and how I need to use them to His glory. All because I have compared myself to others. God, may you continue to show me your love so that I may love others, and myself.